Okay. So the kids have their head lamps and the map and Steve uses the night-vision goggles and first they have to scale a wall and Ellen is voice-overing about the guards and that they're all not exactly sure how they're going to do this. The first phase is climbing this rock wall outside the castle; they all get up, but Katie is last. They're just going to pull her up, but it doesn't work. Steve tells us he's worried that Katie is not strong enough. They bitch to Katie to help, and she tells us that she's scared and she's fucking up and music is ruining my life and she's screaming and the guards are, I hope, on their way to shoot them all. Katie finally makes it up the wall and Katie's scared and shaking but okay. Thank god! The kids walk on and Steve uses the goggles and we get shots of guards and they try to figure out where to go and they see a rope and they have to use it to traverse this gap to get onto the roof. They keep showing guards and we'll just have to ignore the inherent bullshit of all this because if the guards can pretend not to see the camera crews and hear the kids arguing, we'll try to ignore that fact, too. But then a guard ruins it by looking straight at the camera. There is climbing and watching and a guard and talking and now they're all on the roof and they find the well and we get another of graphic and they joke that Ellen should toss the key up first so they can leave her down there. So Ellen goes in and they make "Baby Jessica" jokes and Ellen gets the key and they pull her up the twenty-five feet. Well. Hm. I'll provide the tension myself. Internally. In my head: tension. You'll just have to believe me how exciting it is in here.
More talking. There's the door and the girls go to open the door and they wonder if there's a guard there and the key fits and they whisper and finally they get into this dark room and using the smoke cans they see the lasers guarding the crest. More crap graphics as the kids crawl and duck under lasers. They get to the crest, and there is a frame on which this laser network works. They let Katie try to work her way through, but she gets stuck straddling a laser as the kids keep killing the ozone layer with the constant spraying. Katie's pants are going to ruin it. She should really take off her pants, but instead she goes back. Katie floats that Blair and the boys decided to lift the frame around the crest, figuring the laser grid would lift, too, so they could then climb underneath and get the crest. They lift. Lifting. Lift. Twice, they play Sophia saying, "I don't think it's a good idea, dog." And, Bam! The alarm goes off! Man, they're fucking stupid. Commercials.













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