Road Rules

Episode Report Card
Stee: B- | 386 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Stunted Growth

Back. The warning again. It makes me laugh. Brent -- the poor stunt guy whose career must really be in the shitter to have to take this gig, like he must have kicked Christopher Walken in the balls or something during a fight scene -- show the kids (but really is just showing us so we don't sue when we grab the keys to the family mini-van and try to roll it in the Target parking lot and die) all the safety restraints in the cars. ExpoShane tells us that the glass is all fake, and also that the cars are all CGI and the kids will actually just be running over the ramp on foot, and that there are fairy angels standing by in case someone gets a splinter and they can magic-wand it away. Superman is also on call in case someone gets really hurt and he can then fly really fast around the world and make time reverse itself back to before the accident. Brent goes on that they have to go exactly 27 mph or it won't flip. They'll have a radar gun on them. B/M has some random employee -- because it doesn't sound like either of the three girls -- voice-over that Brent is really professional and made them feel very safe and secure.

Eric tools that they have to flip three times, and as Rachel says they can do a quarter, a half, three-quarters, a full, or more, the Crack B/M Editing Squad -- crackier than ever -- shows us a lame graphic with the car on its side, upside-down, etc. Hee. Sarah predicts that she's going to be the first to go down in a fiery death. For some reason, this idea tickles her. Not as much as it tickles your cast members, honey.

So, Rachel is first. She's nervous. Her legs are shaking. They show us the stock footage of the ambulances "standing by" and also show us that the car is "Stunt Prepared" and that this is a "Closed Course" and "Do Not Try This At Home." We Fucking Get It. So as Rachel is driving, we learn that they only get one try and no practice runs. That's pretty fucking harsh. Rachel hits the jump, and does a two-wheel wheelie, but then violently crashes back down. Nothing. "Shit," yells Shane. They wonder if she turned the wheel. Shane tells Rachel she turned the wheel too late. Sarah says, "She seemed really intent on kicking ass." Lord, Sarah should do color commentary for NASCAR. That was really helpful, you. Rachel says she didn't know how to turn on the ramp; Shane tells us that Rachel sets the example for the other girls, and now he's worried.

Road Rules

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP