RV. Night. Eric convinces Kendal to sleep with him in a sleeping bag on the floor. Rachel, lying next to Darrell, tells Eric that you know someone likes you when he or she agrees to sleep on a twin air mattress with you. Now Sarah snots on about Kendal not liking the gray area. Sarah, you are the gray area.
Morning. Driving. Sarah sits watching Rachel and Darrell have a conversation, wishing someone would talk to her. Rachel says she never fought in college, and Darrell says that he either used to fight a lot, or he does now. I can't exactly tell. All I know is that he doesn't trip on something now. Congratulations. That's good to hear. Rachel camera-talks that Darrell looks tough, but that he's very emotional. Yeah, cuz he's not tripping on anything now. Rachel prattles on about getting nervous before a basketball game (Oh, she played girl's basketball in high school? Yeah. Gay), and Darrell talks about butterflies before a fight and how they go away when the bell rings. Fascinating. Rachel now tells him that she used to think he was good-looking, but when she first met him he was wearing glasses and a puffy jacket, and more and more now she's noticing his "attractiveness." They both smile. Sarah looks on from the outside, wishing someone would talk to her or notice her attractiveness. Now Darrell camera-talks to us that she didn't think Rachel was hot before, but now she's "very more attractive." Hee. He repeats it because it's so deep and grammatically suspect. "Very more attractive."
So the kids arrive at Clemson and their Mayor -- who I think is called Dallas -- tells them to go put on uniforms in the RV. That's exactly what I'd do if the kids came to my school. I'd tell them to get their asses right back on the RV. But then I'd continue my directions, "And drive away."
The kids put on what they realize are racing suits. Shane jokes that if they catch on fire, the suits are fireproof. Oh please, please. I hope that's foreshadowing. Poor, deluded Eric says that they look cool and that they are cool. No and no. Sorry, Eric. You're 0 for 2. "Road Rules!" they lamely chant.
Sarah describes getting onto the big dirt field and seeing "junk cars" and a ramp. They run and find their names on each of six cars. Sarah's name-sticker is all bent and fucked-up in the middle. Hee. Dallas tells the kids they have to roll their cars off the ramp; to get the prizes, they have to roll -- as a team -- a total of three times. Dallas is the worst Mayor since Marion Barry, and no one knows what the fuck she means. This Matt Damon-looking Mayor -- whose name they didn't even bother telling us -- clarifies that they need to roll the cars over, upside-down. Their prize is six thousand dollars. The kids cheer. Sarah tell us that they're "pretty hungry for the money." Someone get Sarah a sandwich. Money just isn't that tasty. Dallas goes on that when...I mean, "if" they fail the mission, they have to vote someone off. Kendal camera-talks about giving up the prizes, and Sarah camera-talks that she's right now calculating how quickly she'll have to pack her shit once they fail. Hee. Now Shane lies about how dangerous this stunt is and we see totally unmanned ambulances and fire trucks parked nearby. Yeah, right. "It's not something you'd want to do at home," adds Shane. Well, neither is watching this show, but I am. My cat saunters into the room, sees the Road Rules logo, and pukes on my foot. I deserved that for bringing this show back into our house. Sorry, kitty. It's always the innocent ones who get hurt. Commercials.