Road Rules
Here Piggy Piggy

Episode Report Card
Stee: C+ | Grade It Now!
Stunted Growth

Darrell's turn. Everyone yells for him to "Come on!" Darrell hits the ramp, and flips! He makes three-quarters, landing on the other side of the car. He bitches that he wanted a full one, and then says he hopes they can get a full one out of both Shane and Eric, and a least a quarter out of Sarah. Hee.

Eric says that they got this, y'all. Eric goes. Darrell yells for him to hold the turn. We see lame-o, nothing-to-do Clemson students watching from way the fuck far away. Eric hits the ramp, and flips over onto his back. Hee. One half. He's pissed. "Oh shit, he's upside-down!" says someone. Eric climbs out, forgetting to turn the engine off. Brent then bitches that this is what happens when you go too fast; he was going thirty-one. They need one and three-quarters more.

"Lock and load, boys!" yells Shane as he drives off. Shane camera-talks that he's had his "game plan" from the beginning and he's sick of hearing hints and clues on how to do this. Fine, then! Be your own man. See if we care! Shane hits the ramp, and does a full flip. (I am very ashamed to admit at this point I actually went, "Yeah!" out loud. I deeply regret getting caught up and being actually pleased for Shane that he made it. I will now slide safely back into the complete apathy that usually surrounds me when I watch this show.) Eric camera-talks about his love for Shane, calling him a "complete stud," saying how he's done the best at every mission so far. "U Da Man Shane," reads the Clemson scoreboard. "U A Sad School," reads Stee.

I think it was sort of mean, but a really good tactic for creating drama as the last to go is the on-the-ropes Sarah, and she has to complete a three-quarters flip or they fail the mission. She feels the pressure. Darrell lies to her that there is no pressure at all. Sarah's helmet reads, "Kick Ass!" which is ironically what the cast members are going to do to her when she fucks up -- kick her ass out the RV. She is scared to fail and get booted off. At least she's being realistic about the situation. She asks if anyone has died doing this. The girls all tell her she can do this, with a thinly veiled threat. She responds like she's already given up. Shane yells her name, like she's already receding into the distance. Shane lies that a three-quarter roll is very possible for Sarah. Yeah, maybe in her bed. Eric wears his hat so the bill is just off to the side of his head. I'm really leaning towards Tool in the great Douchebag vs. Tool debate for him. Shane says that he thinks "Sarah has it in her." I'll leave you to make your own "the only thing Sarah has in her is blank" joke here. I have one, but I don't want to say it. Commercials.

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Road Rules




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