At their restaurant, Ellen whores, "I have to admit, you've definitely met or exceeded most of my expectations, or, if not, all, for tonight, so...kudos to you." Wow. High praise. Erik should be so very...I don't know. Not honored but maybe happy that he's that much closer to getting head. Ellen reveals that she's drunk. Okay, a bit closer still. Sophia and Kelly have a good ol' time talking about the Spanish language and drinking wine and taking photos. The Music Of Budding Sapphic Love plays as the girls laugh and do funny "thumbs up" things to the camera and just joke around. Sophia looks happy, like the excising of Jisela is finally underway. It's good to see. Sophia floats that she can say whatever and that Kelly will laugh. That sounds like a perfect date. They walk down the street and point and talk. Adam bitches about the girls in the RV putting on a lot of makeup for missions and taking a long time to get ready; Danielle, quite presumptuous, says, "You know, I'm very low-maintenance in the morning." Too bad Adam isn't, with the medicine regimen and all the gel. Adam yawns and goes to the bathroom. Immediately Danielle puts on lipstick. Hee. Meanwhile, Katie's and Michael's Very Bad Date continues as they make awful small talk about how little Michael ate.
Ellen and Erik walk, holding hands. Ellen is drunk. Steve and Amy are walking very far apart and not talking. Ellen asks Erik whether he's a hopeless romantic. Well, no guy who thinks he might be close to getting a blowjob is going to say no. To whit: Erik says, "Totally." Steve finally gets Amy to lean into him as they walk. Good for him. On the beach, Ellen is fizzucked up and laughs and smokes and babbles and trips. She laughs and giggles and then the water splashes them and Erik is realizing she's now gone past that point of fun-and -hopefully-easy drunk into she's-gonna-barf drunk. Blair and Elizabeth emerge from their restaurant. (Quickly, I'm surprised B/M would pay for six separate camera crews. That leads me to think they staggered the dates to three at a time. What do you think?)
In a cab, ADDam and Danielle do a bit where he asks her favorite movie and then whispers what it should be ("say Top Gun") and she says it and they marvel at how weird it is and how they should run and get married right away. Those moves: had them in eleventh grade. Thought they went out of style. Who knew? Meanwhile, Sophia and Kelly stand on the street and flirt. "It's been a good night" goes another terrible B/M song choice as the kids hug their dates at their respective doors. Blair's date says goodnight, without his even getting any pie. Adam furiously knocks on Danielle's door as she laughs. Yeah, he didn't take his meds today. Erik and Ellen walk to a taxi stand. Ellen almost gets run over. Like, seriously, within inches of not dying. Erik jokes that he did actually want to kill her at points on the date, but didn't. I'm sure he's only half-joking since it's becoming more and more apparent he ain't getting none, after all that. After listening to all that crap come out of her mouth. Poor actor-slash- model-slash-temp. Katie tells Michael, "You're home," in as unfriendly a manner as possible. Sophia and Kelly hug -- genuinely hug. The boys all stand on the street comparing photos from their dates on their digital cameras. Blair is saying his girl was very cool, but we didn't get to see that. Sophia comes up and they tease her when she says how awesome her date was; she doesn't say that she didn't get some, so maybe she did and they just didn't show it, which would really be just about the cruelest thing B/M has ever fucking done to me. Sophia says "dog" eighteen times in the scene. That's how you know she had a really good time. Just count the "dog"s.