Road Rules
Jumping With The Jones

Episode Report Card
Stee: C+ | Grade It Now!
The Dating Lame

At a restaurant, Blair and his girl drink. Katie bitches for Michael just to pick anywhere. Seated now, Adam reveals to Danielle that his big goal in life is to run a marathon. Hm. That's shooting for the stars in life, Adam. Danielle lists the forty event she ran in high school track. Adam is either scared, impressed, or gassy. I can't tell. Katie and Michael sit in uncomfortable silence. Sophia and Kelly find a place. Ellen drinks wine, telling her boy that he's "insightful" for a twenty-one-year-old. Seated now, Steve asks Amy when she and her boy broke up. Two years ago, she says. He asks why, running through the list of possibilities to a silent Amy. "He's dead," she finally says. The look on Steve's face...damn. It even prompts her bitch ass to say, "It's okay." Steve then goes floaty and just stares at the camera, shrugging. "Wine? More wine...Amy...." he says. "How do you come back from that? I mean...not...." He continues to mug. It's very funny. (Hey B/M. A little more Steve. Please. I'll make one less joke at your expense per week. Deal?)

At their restaurant, Ellen whores, "I have to admit, you've definitely met or exceeded most of my expectations, or, if not, all, for tonight, so...kudos to you." Wow. High praise. Erik should be so very...I don't know. Not honored but maybe happy that he's that much closer to getting head. Ellen reveals that she's drunk. Okay, a bit closer still. Sophia and Kelly have a good ol' time talking about the Spanish language and drinking wine and taking photos. The Music Of Budding Sapphic Love plays as the girls laugh and do funny "thumbs up" things to the camera and just joke around. Sophia looks happy, like the excising of Jisela is finally underway. It's good to see. Sophia floats that she can say whatever and that Kelly will laugh. That sounds like a perfect date. They walk down the street and point and talk. Adam bitches about the girls in the RV putting on a lot of makeup for missions and taking a long time to get ready; Danielle, quite presumptuous, says, "You know, I'm very low-maintenance in the morning." Too bad Adam isn't, with the medicine regimen and all the gel. Adam yawns and goes to the bathroom. Immediately Danielle puts on lipstick. Hee. Meanwhile, Katie's and Michael's Very Bad Date continues as they make awful small talk about how little Michael ate.

Ellen and Erik walk, holding hands. Ellen is drunk. Steve and Amy are walking very far apart and not talking. Ellen asks Erik whether he's a hopeless romantic. Well, no guy who thinks he might be close to getting a blowjob is going to say no. To whit: Erik says, "Totally." Steve finally gets Amy to lean into him as they walk. Good for him. On the beach, Ellen is fizzucked up and laughs and smokes and babbles and trips. She laughs and giggles and then the water splashes them and Erik is realizing she's now gone past that point of fun-and -hopefully-easy drunk into she's-gonna-barf drunk. Blair and Elizabeth emerge from their restaurant. (Quickly, I'm surprised B/M would pay for six separate camera crews. That leads me to think they staggered the dates to three at a time. What do you think?)

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Road Rules




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