It's time for the commercial dance, people! Rock!
Inside Winnie, Lose or Drawl, Theo starts his dude song: "I got it, dude. Hey, check this out, dude. Purchase six wooden coffins, and we bury ourselves, and we have to sleep in the ground all night." Yes, yes, yes! But tell us where you're buried before you do it, okay? Please? Oh, God, how sweet would it be to Blair Witch the shit out of them all night long? Oh, man. Theo, you genius! Kathryn immediately chimes in that Theo's idea is brilliant and says they'll breathe through a little pipe. Theo gets proud of himself and points around saying, "That's fear! Right there, baby!" Kathryn slowly says, "That, Theo, I think you've had a good idea," because she's not used to saying those words in that order. Laterrian says he's not doing it. Theo screams for him to "sack up." I can't tell what anyone is saying because they're all screaming at each other now. James is laughing, Msaada is flicking Theo off, and Theo is screaming the word "Baby" so many times he might actually be having an orgasm just from completing an entire thought.
Holly and Kathryn decide to be buried for six hours. Theo says it should be longer than that. Dude, even MTV's own Fear makes you do shit for just fifteen minutes. "Twelve," Theo says. "Fuck that shit!" Laterrian screams with an incredible amount of venom. While Holly smiles that Theo's idea is great, Msaada says she's going to get in the driver's seat and kill all of them. That's right! Sack up, girlie! Do it! That is huge! Sack up! No fear! Stay to Play! Pay as you go! Earn as you learn! Fair is fair! An argument breaks out about whether or not being buried alive is "stupid." Msaada says an incredibly long, over-enunciated sentence about how being buried alive is stupid, and Theo counters by saying if Msaada had her way, she'd have all of them staying in a library reading books all night. Uh, Theo? That's only scary to you. As everyone starts shouting at once, the music gets louder, and there's just a swirl of noise coming from my television. I pop three Excedrin Migraine and wish that stee would hurry up and get home. Several shots of the cast looking upset and angry.
Back at MTV, Vince asks them what they've come up with. James offers to go first and gets all nervous like he's about to give a PowerPoint presentation. He stands at the end of the room and gives his idea. He says he came up with "six different events." He then quickly checks his hands to make sure he's holding up one whole hand and the thumb of the other. He is. He looks like he just got back from a Lost Weekend. His idea is basically the Ironman or some other decathlon-type race, where they'd swim (because LT isn't good at swimming), and then, "You could have running, you could have kayaking or canoeing..." He's interrupted by Chadwick asking who's afraid of running. James admits that he's not afraid of running. Vince asks if they've organized that at all. Christina asks how long this mission would take. "Forty-eight hours," James says. "So you're asking us to participate, essentially, in a two-day mission." Vince says that it all sounds very boring. Holly interrupts to say that James isn't speaking for the group and that was just "his idea." She continues with, "We haven't really been able to, cal...cowobberate...on a lot of the stuff." Come on, girl, get your mouth around those big words. James pouts at the end of the table as his voice-over tells us that he thought his idea was cool, but now he realizes it isn't that exciting, but if he were home watching television he wouldn't necessarily turn off a show that had his mission. James, you just figured out the secret of Road Rules. We're lazy, lazy fuckers. And your mission idea is the same as any other mission this show has ever had, so don't feel bad. You'll be working for B/M this time next year, I'm sure.