As they walk back to the Winnie, James floats that they need to "step up" now because they've failed too many missions.
It's dark now, and James dials up the Mission Board on the car phone. "The Mission Board...The Mission Board talked to the Road Master, and we've decided to accept one of your missions." Theo brings in his lucky bag of dirt from the back, all ready to sack up. They like Kathryn's idea, and they want them to get married. "But here's the deal: you all have to marry each other. You all have to marry someone else in the group." We immediately switch to floaty Brady Bunch cam as everyone gives their reactions. "You've got to be kidding," Holly snots. James: "I've never been born with a very good vocabulary, but, uh, insanity, dude." I have to lie down for a few moments because the blood from my eyes was getting my spacebar all sticky. Fuck, look at that sentence again. "I've never been born with a very good vocabulary, but, uh, insanity, dude." Did these people finish high school? Kathryn shows off her grammar skillz with, "It may have been my mouth that opened before I thought and said, 'Hey, let's go to Vegas and get hitched.'" This is the same video-editing tool that they use here in Austin to sell cable. "I think this wedding idea is awful!" Theo whines. Msaada smiles and says, "There is no way...in hell...I am going to do this." Laterrian busts out with, "I have no desire to marry Kathryn, even if it's for pretend." Kathryn looks right at us and tells us not to screw this one up because it's their final mission. Laterrian isn't done, however, and ends with, "And I think I would rather drink my own piss and jump off a building than marry Holly." Dammit, Laterrian! Where were you when they were talking to the Mission Board? Drinking your own piss and jumping off a building? Now that takes sacking up, dude! Do you have to drink the piss while you're jumping? Man! That's HUGE.
Next week on Road Rules: trouble in paradise. The honeymoon period is over before they even say "I do," and the kids are fighting through their bachelor parties, fighting over what the wedding will look like, what they'll wear, and who they'll marry. Then they totally ruin the end by showing who is marrying whom and having the group throw up a sack of coins in glee. So much for any sort of suspense.