Road Rules
Letting Out The True Feelings

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Fit To Be Tied

Wait? What's this? It's a car driving off a cliff with a woman's voice-over saying that next week is the final episode of Road Rules. I don't understand, is this the new mission? Oh, wait. This is a commercial! They do have commercials! Well, I'll be.

Because we're retarded, we come back from commercial to hear Ann ask Msaada her Truth question again, complete with Msaada's double-over and scream. She stops the laughing Laterrian by saying, "Don't think you're not on my list." He says, "I'm not gonna cry, because, cuz, cuz I am." Cut to same shot of Theo beaming. As Msaada gives Theo the Manson Lamps, Holly voice-overs that everyone knows "who has beef with who [sic] and that kind of thing." If this is the case, then why the hell are they taking so long to answer these questions? If it's not a secret, then why are they laughing and goofing so much just to answer a question they all already know? Man. Holly floats that the entire thing is "antagonistic." Msaada says, "Okay, I'm gonna say Holly, because she just, was just very annoying to me." Shot of Proud Theo again. Ann stirs the embers by asking how Holly was annoying. "Being negative at times." Holly pouts and rocks back and forth under the breakfast nook and at any moment I expect her to start drawing a buttonhook on some paper, babbling about "the people, and the people, and the people." Msaada adds that Holly is "kinda rude sometimes." Okay, we got it. You don't like her. Holly tries to laugh it off by saying that she's "not gonna talk about rude around this group."

Kathryn steps up, and Ann asks, "What is one thing you hate about each cast member?" Right now, stee is kicking himself for being stuck in Wisconsin and not able to answer this question. Like he could stick to one thing about each person, anyway. Theo is jumping on some furniture again. I hate that. Theo asks Kathryn to start off with him because...and these are his words, not mine: "I'm usually the first one to take the medicine. When it's nighttime, I need the medicine." Kathryn wastes no time and immediately busts out with, "Okay, I hate Theo because sometimes he comes to very harsh judgments of other people. And he can hurt their feelings." She started the sentence with "I hate Theo" and then dissed him for judging people harshly? Oookay. This doesn't phase Theo, however, and he gives her the double-hand guns with arms crossed. It comes off less like, "Thanks for sacking up" and more like, "You know you'll suck it later." Kathryn doesn't even inhale before laying into James, who stops her to shout, "I'm all man, baby!" "I hate that your feet are so nasty," she laughs. Pan down to some incredibly gnarly fungus-filled toenails while James tries to defend his funk. Giddy with power, Kathryn continues with, "Holly thinks she knows everything, and that, just, and I hate that about her. 'Cuz she tried to call out Martha Stewart for baking pancakes wrong." "But she did!" Holly screeches. The reading of the slambook continues as Kathryn says that Msaada "bites her tongue too much." I don't know if she means Msaada has an oral fixation or if she wishes Msaada would be as big of a bitch as everyone else. I can't believe you'd hate someone for not saying mean things about people. Whatever. Fire eyes dart across the room and find Laterrian as the next target. "Laterrian, your moodiness and your non-communication. You know it's your moodiness. I hate that about you." That's more than one thing, Kathryn. Be careful when you sleep tonight.

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Road Rules

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