Road Rules
Letting Out The True Feelings

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Fit To Be Tied

Holly walks over to the TruthCom 2000 and clicks a link. "What is the sneakiest thing that you've ever done to someone in the cast?" Holly instantly flips around defensively and says she's never done anything of the sort. This causes Laterrian to jump up and run out of the room screaming with laughter. He comes back in, and we cut to Laterrian on the floor telling Holly he knows she called him "a mother fucker" but that she's never said it to his face. He says that if she wants to call him "a mother fucker" then she can call him one. Holly fingers her drawstring right above her pubes, smiles, and says she thought he was a liar, that's all. "What have I lied about, baby?" he asks. Holly looks away and smiles. "Let's go, guys," Theo shouts. "Ding, ding, ding." Close-up on the mouth-breathing Kathryn. She goes all floaty to tell us, "I've had enough." Oh, God. Suck it up. It's Truth or Dare, you big pussy. "I don't need to deal with this type of dysfunctional-inbred-family stuff." Holly looks all snotty at Laterrian as Ann announces that they have completed their mission. I certainly hope we just couldn't see the truly x-rated mission shit on MTV because that was the lamest game of Truth or Dare I've ever seen. There is no reason they should be bitching. Why didn't everyone have to do a Truth and a Dare? Why did some have two Dares? Why did James have two Dares and a Truth? How long has this game been going on? Why do they keep changing clothes and hairstyles? Why isn't Theo still naked? Ann hands the kids a few coins, and they are quite proud of themselves.

James floats over with a gigantic sigh and says the entire Truth or Dare experience can be summed up on one word: "A mess." That's two, you...oh, fucking forget it. Where's the mess? He says they tried to make it funny, but it became "grotesque." Right.

Back inside the Winnie, the blue-light special is going off. I'm just going to skip how stupid this Road Master guy is. He's all angry at them like he's been trapped in that box inside the Winnie for the entire season. He says that everybody deserves a second chance, but he doesn't give them. I'm starting to think this is how stee would talk to them if he got a chance, though. The Road Master dude tells them that if they want a second chance, they'll have to figure it out. Then he gives them an email address. Because he knows that if he waited for them to figure anything out this season would go on until 2010. They all crowd around the iBook and read mail that tells them where to meet the Mission Board. Someone is encouraging Theo's new-found literacy and doesn't correct him when he reads the address as "Santo Monica."

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Road Rules




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