The Mayor -- who looks like Q-Tip -- welcomes them. Shane smiles. Kendal smiles. There are four Mayors: Chris and Drew, and then Two Girls whose names I won't even risk butchering. Everyone is good-looking and welcoming. Way more welcoming than I would be if the Road Rules crew came onto my campus. Although, my college's campus was the streets of New York, and I would have been drunk at the time, so it would have been a whole different scene. Chris brings out their "competition" in the step show, and six overly eager kids run out. Oh, it's the MTV.com kids! Whee! If people on Road Rules are losers, the MTV.com kids are like the sub-losers. Below The Losers. It's really quite a thing to be. Sarah makes some joke about not knowing what MTV.com is and then one of the MTV.com kids -- Sam, this guy who looks like Yaphet Kotto -- asks if they're ready to lose. Sarah recounts this to us, going all floppy-neck, in her sad imitation of a black person, I guess, which -- like most imitations of black people done by a white person -- serves only to make her look whiter than ever. Sarah adds that from then on, they hated the MTV.com kids. For their part, the MTV.com kids look miserable. Chris Mayors on, trying to front that stepping is "very serious," and tells them they're wasting valuable training time. A girl talks about what stepping is -- synchronized movements of hands and feet -- and tells them that all the frats and sororities here do it. They also say that the winner will get the $6,000. The kids fake-clap, pretending to be psyched. They all look like they need naps already. I know I do. Maybe I'll just have another donut.
Now the kids are in this awful high school-looking theatre on stage, learning their routine. They're terrible. It's a plane crash. Their coaches flinch. Shane camera-tools that he thought this would be easy, but it's hard. More laughing at the kids. Shane just wants to watch it. Now Sarah camera-talks, her face all big and enthusiastic in the camera, that this is her event -- that it's her chance to prove to her team that she's not the total useless waste of space America (okay, the five hundred people in America who watch the show) thinks she is. It's all kind of sad and cute at the same time as Sarah says that it has a "performance element" -- and as she says it she kind of wiggles, indicating, I guess, "performance." She concludes that performing is one of her strong suits. The girls do a bit of the routine and don't suck. "It's my time to shine!" Sarah tells us, and then she opens her mouth in a smile so big, I jump back, sure she's about to swallow the entire camera and, by proxy, me.