Okay, so the kids start discussing the thing at the charity as two older ladies watch from the door. And constantly, during the whole time they babble, we cut to shots of Sloan, listening and watching. He says nothing, just looks increasingly regretful that he's blowing his fucking dying wish on this shit (something I don't believe, by the way. We'll get to that later.) And behind Sloan is this similarly disconcerting photo of a little black girl and a scary Maytag-Man-looking motherfucker. So the kids discuss various methods of stealing the dog. James wants to just run in and grab it while sweet young Kathryn suggests taking the dog for a walk. Oh, um...good idea, Kathryn. The kids now sit around a table, having eaten what looks like birthday cake and piles of beads, as James and Laterrian start talking about breaking down the door and egging people. James' rugby ass is getting all homoerotically excited about the notion of violence; this is the most animated I've seen him, including during the Mating Ritual of the Stupid with Holly in the first episode. (I'm just saying, people.) As James helpfully mimes throwing eggs -- which would accomplish what? -- they cut to Sloan looking particularly put-off, the little black girl also scowling at James' idiocy. Theo fucking loves the idea though, adding, "Dude, if you're gonna go out, go out big." Now, let this moment be instructive, y'all: When you find yourself thinking Theo is really secretly smart and funny and B/M is just painting him in a bad light, think back to statements like this, and then come talk to me. Thank you. Ha -- floaty Msaada chimes in, "God, they're such boneheads." Rock. Holly is holding about a hundred strings of beads, indicating that she must have recently shown her tits to half of New Orleans. Why don't I find that surprising? So, regarding the retarded egg plan, Theo and James are yelling about how that "cannot fail," Theo having all the faith in the world that James would come away with the dog. (I can't believe I'm writing down this shit.) Ha, now Sloan has shifted so right over his confused, sick face is the old white man staring at the camera like, "How y'all doing children? Do you want to make a wish, you little dying bastards? Sure you do!" Sloan cuts through the nonsense by suggesting they go to the house and pretend his dying wish is to see The Real World house. Holly, with the afro-puffs again, likes the idea, as Laterrian frowns. Theo then reminds Laterrian that it is, after all, the dying kid's wish and that he will be participating in the mission. Oh. Okay, then. They head to the Shasta as Theo waxes organizational: "Everything's got to be designated, set up, and ready to rock." That was actually going to be the Boy Scout motto, but they thought it was a bit too wordy. Theo gives the grand tour of the Shasta, pointing out the Road Master's TV and saying, "This is where we eat, sleep, and dookie." Presumably he doesn't mean he dookies on the Road Master, but you never know with Theo.
Episode Report Card491 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT