Yes, Spy Groove and Undressed and The Lyricist Lounge Show are all on. Fine. We hear you, MTV. We just won't necessarily be watching. So desperate, that Ten Spot. "Hey you. Psst. Love me! Watch me! Look. Lookit what I've got. See, I got funny cartoons. I got girls who can barely speak, in bras and panties having fake lesbian sex on soft-lit digital video. Look at me, rapping and acting. Woohoo! Hey, where are you going? Watch me. Watch me! Hey!"
We're back. Matt is playing pool at the house. He suddenly stops and wonders aloud, "Where did Shorty go?" Oh bullshit. Bullshit. I don't buy that for a second. I've seen better performances on Cops. "I didn't hit her occifer...I mean, officer. Blood, on my knuckles? Naw, man, that's was from that time I felled down back then, not from hitting the bitch...I mean, my lovely wife Lulu." Check it: No one noticed the stupid dog was gone so B/M pulled Matt aside and staged this scene. See, I know. Shoot, I didn't get my BFA in Acting for nothing, suckas! The kids still can't get the tiger up, but Holly comes up with the idea of getting a photo with the guy-in-a-funny-tiger-suit mascot Mike, at the baseball game. Oh, and when I say, "Holly comes up with," I really mean, "Bunim-Murray pulled her aside and told her, since the mission was going awry and B/M had no contingency plan " At the mansion, Matt opens the lock-box to find a CD-ROM. He loads the CD and we first get a very nice ad for Prodigy Internet on their desktop. (Obviously, though this is the "real" world, B/M forbid them to change the image on their desktop from the ad/background. That is very sleezy.) So a video starts and...oh man, it's the Road Master. Ick. I feel bad for the Real Worlders, having to see this. I mean, having your house broken into and your property stolen is one thing, but having to endure the Road Master as well, that's too much for anyone. The four boys watch as Min Headroom babbles about the kids being naughty and how they should check their email and just generally goes way to far with his schtick. FrankenJamie looks amused as David actually looks a little scared. Jamie gets up saying, "That's a cagey dude, right there." If by "cagey" you mean "bloated and annoying," then yeah. Via phone, Matt tells the deal to Melissa, who is out with the two other girls someone. She's mad. Whatever. Julie convulses with laughter. Elsewhere, at the baseball game, the kids take a photo with the mascot Mike. Then they turn their butts to the camera. Speaking of asses, Melissa goes on about the deception. She and Kelley then actually give voice to the fact that Road Rules is obviously so inferior, by talking shit about having to do missions and basically being very dismissive of Road Rules. Ouch. I hear them, though. Man, we suck. What a slum of television this is. They should have a B/M version of the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising. Like, the kids should ask to meet with Bunim and Murray, kidnap them, and threaten to kill them if they don't get rid of the Road Master, fire the entire creative staff, and cut it with the Radio Shack effects. See Big Brother top that shit.