Road Rules
Mission Impossible: Get Shorty

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Get Out Of My Dreams (Get Into My Shasta)

The next segment is "Casing The Joint" and the Shasta parks near the RW's Belfort mansion. Laterrian and James, well, case the joint, as the rest try to think of aliases for their mission. Theo picks "Lavar Tivadoe [sp?]" because it "sounds Cajun." Okay, Theo. James annoys the hell out of Laterrian with his mindless babble as Theo shoots down Holly's choice of "Nia" as her name...because "Lavar" is so much better. As the boys get to a corner, James suddenly begins gagging and dry-heaving. I don't know if he's acting or what but floaty Laterrian says, "The chances of completing our mission are negative. Negative, okay? Negative." Is Road Rules a good show, Laterrian? "Negative."

Back in the Shasta for "The Plan," James incoherently babbles that if the dog is a Labrador, they can't get it, because they wouldn't want to injure it throwing it up that high. What? I think James has food poisoning of the brain. Two older women -- Ann, the Director of Make-A-Wish and Sloan's mom Rosanne -- board the RV. Kathryn takes control, explaining that the two women will join Sloan, Msaada, Theo as they knock on the mansion door, lay out the "wish," and ask to be shown around. Inside, they will unlock a door and discover where the dog is kept. Kathryn gives James some bacon "just in case you do need meat." Ha. James Needs Meat. Kathryn will be the get-away driver then as the boys steal the dog; one hopes that the others will have been able to lure the Real World kids out of the house. The kids set off as Theo impressionistically says, "This is where the road meets the home, baby." There he is, calling me "baby" again. Holly and Kathryn lurk across the street as the others knock on the door. Good thing Holly and Kathryn are hiding, since the fucking camera crew filming them is invisible. It's one of them invisible camera crews that the kids love so much these days.

Okay, here we go with the Bizarro crossover as we're inside the house where hip-hop albino Christian Matt peeps through the door saying, "Who dat be?" Word to your mother, Matt. Matt is too freaked to talk to the Make-A-Wish Foundation, so Mormon Julie answers the door. Ann explains to Julie about Sloan's "wish" as the inside-out-shirted Julie graciously and "totally" lets them in. She's very excited to be his wish. Those Latter-Day Saints do have hearts of gold. Just as long as the sick kid isn't gay -- then she'd have to kick him out and try to change his evil and unnatural man-loving ways. Oh, but there's the gay sweater-loving Danny from the house, so maybe Julie is changing after all. Meanwhile, the RW boom operator gets so confused by the B/M worlds colliding that he forgets where his frame line is and lets the mic slip into the shot for a long time.

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Road Rules

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