Road Rules
One By The Wayside

Episode Report Card
Stee: B- | Grade It Now!
See You Jiselater

More pointless shit as someone tells them to go to the finish line. We get hurrying music and everyone hurries, but then quickly stops and walk instead, since, like, they already failed the mission. B/M gives up on the tension, again. Good god. ADDam floats that it's not worth going to the finish line, and then we see them run at the very end for the cameras, and there is this whole blow-up thing set up, and it's all very sad because no one on the mountain cares at all, let alone anyone watching in TV-land. Meanwhile, Jisela climbs down alone. She bitches that people have told them that Ellen is on their nerves and that they're going to boot Ellen (and that she's the "weakest link"), and that it doesn't matter if Jisela fucked up two missions. What? She thinks she's not going home and that Ellen should!? She continues, "They're judging on who's had the hardest time because everyone has a bad day." Okay, that doesn't even make sense. Anyway, she meets up with the rest of them, who say that they got her a t-shirt, "dog." She asks if it read, "Bitch." They say she's going to have to monogram that herself. Hee. Jisela floats that they were all giving her a look like they risked their life for the team and she wouldn't. The boys try to lift Jisela onto a rock, tickling her silly by making fun of her weight. Whatever. Adam floats that Jisela would be his pick to leave because she can't hack it mentally and physically. Oh, yeah, and well, because Ellen blows him every night before bed. Blair says that Jisela is a good friend and cares about others. Jigga-what?

Some skinny Spaniard comes up all smiley...and proceeds to tell them they failed the mission, so and now they have to boot someone by tomorrow morning. Everyone stares. B/M tries to get all Survivor as they make Ellen say that she doesn't know how many votes she has, and the Six of Suck get into a short bus as Jisela floats that she's worried she's going to be booted (no!). Jisela cries somewhere as we go to commercials. Me too, Jisela. Me too.

Hey, whatever happened to Sophia saying that she'd sacrifice herself and go home in the place of Jisela? I'm just saying....

Back. Jisela and Sophia talk on top of some broke-ass shed by some water somewhere. This is like recapping My Dinner With Andre. Jisela says that she could list all of Ellen's flaws, but what it's going to come down to is that she did not risk her life for the team. Has Jisela even seen an episode of Road Rules? Like, didn't she know there was, maybe, going to be some tough physical challenges? "Oh, running and jumping and climbing? Yeah, I ain't gonna do that shit." Jisela now floats that they already decided a long time ago that they were going to vote Ellen off, no matter what. Ooh, a voting block. How very some-other-actually- interesting-reality-show of them. Sophia asks Jisela whether she wants to stay, perhaps remembering her pledge to sacrifice herself, and Jisela responds that she "really" does. She babbles some nonsense about there being a difference between refusing to do a mission and not being able to do a mission. Ellen is posing for photos for Adam somewhere (the clothed kind, for once) as Jisela hypothesizes that Adam will not vote Ellen off and neither will Ellen herself. (Like The McLaughlin Group, these two.) Adam smokes and Steve stares. Jisela says that Steve will vote her off. Sophia says, "Man, do we have to vote?" and Jisela responds, "Welcome to the real world." Oh man, don't I wish.

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Road Rules




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