Road Rules
One By The Wayside

Episode Report Card
Stee: B- | Grade It Now!
See You Jiselater

Driving. Somewhere. Blair goes through an elaborate bet/jokey thing to get Jisela to shave his leg with her electric shaver. Ellen keeps staring into space. Blair wants to be pretty so bad. Ellen says it's pretty clear that alliances have formed. Ah, there's the word: alliances. B/M is so proud. Blair now floats a-fucking-gain that he's "all about enjoyment" on this trip, and that he could send home the person who is "causing [him] the least amount of enjoyment." I think these kids need to get off the Tioga and take a fucking English class.

Night. Outside. City street. Steve -- hi, Steve! -- climbs out of his box to tell Blair that you get attached to people, but you can't let it make your decisions. They eat, and Steve goes on to say that he made his decision at the bottom of the hill. So after all this, they still think we don't get it and have the fucking gall to make Blair float, "We have to make a decision, and somebody's going -- like, one of us will not be here tomorrow -- and the reality of that is hard to swallow." Unlike pie. As Blair speaks, the Bull of Repetition gets loose from the streets of Pamplona and gores him in the chest.

Tioga. Night. The kids. Worried. Steve sleeps. Hee. Anywhere that's not a cardboard box is too comfortable for him to pass up now. Blair floats that no one is talking about what's about to happen, but everyone knows what's going to go down. Yes! Everyone knows. Now fucking do it already.

The kids walk outside and pick up instructions from a bench. They read that someone is getting booted and must be packed and ready to go by sunrise. Adam camera-talks that he's voting for Jisela, and that it's not personal. Jisela, totally reading lines, camera-talks that the weakest link might not be the person who didn't finish the race, but instead might be the person who doesn't work with the group. Fuck off. Ellen smokes. Ellen camera-talks that she's voting Jisela off because Jisela didn't rappel, and that they all have to overcome their blah blah blah left-eyecakes. Sophia camera-talks that she's voting for Ellen because, in the water, Jisela swam Ellen to shore, and that takes a lot of character...and she's totally fucking in love with Jisela and wants to marry the shit out of her and lick her like a Blow Pop. Steve camera-talks, saying that he's voting for Jisela and that it's not personal, just physical. Yeah, so were most of my relationships in college. I can't fucking believe it: they have Blair float, "It's elimination night. We have to vote..." I can't finish. I can't.

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Road Rules




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