Road Rules
Quest For The Crest

Episode Report Card
Stee: B- | Grade It Now!
We're Whining On The Marrakech Express

So naturally the camels, like all of us, hate the kids and refuse to move or "zit" or whatever they're supposed to be doing. We get a montage of the kids yelling at the camels and the camels growling at them and people floating, talking about having defective camels and blah blah blah Ishtarcakes. Ellen screams in fear of her camel. Jisela yells at hers. Sophia thinks this is going to "suck." Jisela floats that her camel suddenly decided to run, and then we see her fall off. Hee. It's very very funny. She's laughing but upset, and I'm laughing and also upset, but for a different reason, but then we get commercials and everything is right with the world again.

I love that Mandy Moore's new album debuted at #35. My mom put out an album of her humming while doing the dishes, and even that debuted in the top thirty.

So we're back, and Jisela is complaining about her leg, and we can tell she's not really hurt. She gets up and limps and Ellen yells at her camel and then Jisela grabs her camel's reins and starts yelling and swearing at her camel and it groans and I want it to bite her but it doesn't. Sophia is so turned on by the rein-grabbing. Adam is calmly walking his camel, telling us that he can't force it to listen to him if it doesn't want to, and he leads the rest of the camels, who just follow. Ellen walks, too, saying that her camel "sucks." Pot. Kettle.

The kids arrive at a tiny bivouac with carpets and a few tents; the kids "whoooo." The sun is going down and they wonder how they could be upset in such a beautiful setting. It makes me laugh that these guys are in the middle of a desert sleeping in a tiny tent when they could have been in a fat New York City triplex if they'd just been interesting enough or they'd not pissed off B or M somehow. Adam tells Blair that Jisela is more scared than anything while Ellen is trying to make her camel sit. She goes from zero to whining in 4.3 seconds and huffs into the bivouac. People laugh at her. People all around the country laugh at her. Her parents laugh at her. My cat laughs at her. Jisela hits the ground and starts crying again. She voice-overs that her self-esteem has taken a beating and she weeps that she's been falling all day long and the kids gather around giving her terrible pep talks. I'd be crying, too, if I had Blair awkwardly telling me that at least I got up again. Ellen can't have the attention off her, so she asks where the bathroom is and then starts crying. Jisela leans over the sand saying that she's going to throw up. Sophia tries to make out with her...or maybe she's just trying to hold her hair back. You make the call. Jisela says she wants to throw up alone and walks away while Ellen tries to ask to locals -- who are oddly just sitting in their tent -- if they have a bucket. Watching Ellen try to mime "bucket" is nearly worth having to sit through the entire season of this. Also, she's in the fucking desert. Why would she care about having a bucket to throw up in? Ellen's a tard. Ellen coos that she has a bucket, and Sophia is not leaving Jisela alone to throw up, and the guys are just somewhere watching the girls be stupid. As she goes inside with the bucket, Jisela pisses off B/M by telling us that she now thinks she's "the weakest link" and that she doesn't want to hold the others back. Blair starts talking about puking for some reason, and then, without warning, we're treated to a shot of Jisela throwing up in the bucket but missing a lot. Yuck. (Hey Kim, will you switch me shows? Please? I'd rather watch Coral yelling at Mike then watch Jisela puke all over a bivouac. Please?!)

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Road Rules




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