Sarah now camera-talks that this isn't "exactly [her] cup of tea," but that she'll do it. Oh, bless you, Sarah. How kind. Jonathan lisps that they'll pair them up now. Rachel and Kendal. Shane and Darrell. Of course. They make it seem like they're picking at random with little scraps of paper, but, c'mon. Rachel camera-mans that when she hears Shane's and Darrell's names being picked together, she steps back and prays for them. Darrell is not happy to have to be with "old Shane." He says he's in hell right now. "Hugging?" says Shane to Darrell. Oh, man. They have to stand on a pole hugging each other! Yeah, I don't think I'd be particularly happy to have to hug a dude for three straight hours. Darrell goes on that he just wanted to say "fuck the surfboards," but he couldn't let his team down like that. Okay. That's the Darrell I know and kind of like a tiny bit.
It looks really hard just to even get on top of the pole and stand, but they all do it and then hug. The "couples" settle as Darrell asks why Shane's squeezing him so hard. Hee. Darrell, annoyed, tells Shane to breathe in and relax, dog. Darrell then camera-talks that Shane is crying and trembling. They're both holding each other as far apart as possible like two kids dancing at an eighth-grade mixer. Darrell says he wanted to laugh at Shane crying, but he knew it would make Shane panic. Shane does panic, and Darrell has to tell him to relax about twenty times. Finally, Mayor McJonathan asks if they're comfortable and says their time is starting now.
Students start chanting, "Yabba Dabba Yellow Hammer. Give 'em hell, Alabama." Eh. I'm sure there's a delightful yarn about the origins of that chant, but I couldn't fucking care less. Now Mayor Candace tells the students that when they hear the air horn, they should start throwing the food. Everyone is ready and the horn blows and they start launching macaroni and shit at the kids. It's pretty fucking funny. Kendal says that it's hamburger meat and how pissed is Sarah now? -- I guess she's a vegetarian. Darrell gets hit in the goggles with meat. Hee. The time runs out and everyone is okay. A student tells Shane to grab Darrell's ass and Darrell tells him not to do it. Darrell says, "You fucking touch me like that, dog, I will sock you as I fall." Hee. That's good stuff. Shane says it was a joke and that he's not attracted to Darrell. Darrell says he felt his hand go lower; that's all. They both laugh nervously. Man, that's some funny shit. Gay tension at thirty feet.