Road Rules
Rappin To Win

Episode Report Card
Stee: C | Grade It Now!
The Bitchslap Heard 'Round the RV

This has nothing to do with the show except that it's on the same network, but if you haven't seen the new Weezer video for "Gone Fishin'" yet, you must see it. It might be the best video I've ever seen. Marcos Siega, who is one of the better video-director staples, came up with the idea which has Weezer appearing on The Muppet Show and Miss Piggy kidnapping Pat. Animal has to fill in on drums and Kermit and Gonzo sing backup while Pat escapes. The song is one of the best on the new album and then it ends with Statler and Waldorf, and if it doesn't put a smile on your face, you have a cold dead heart and should immediately kill yourself, or become a case manager for an HMO.

"Previously..." At the Citadel, Darrell got yelled at and then bragged to us that he was thinking which cadet to beat up. Then we see what we never got to, which looks like the injured Sarah getting hazed and yelled at by cadets for letting down her team. Awesome. Sarah almost cried as Rachel told us that Sarah is the weak link. Then we get where Shane dissed Rachel's stomach muscles and then Rachel lied to us that Shane is just as close to being kicked off. Step routine. Sarah said that it's her turn to shine, and then eats the camera. Shane didn't want to be kicked off. Outkast whored themselves like no rap group since the Black Eyed Peas made a commercial for Dr. Pepper (and Meth and Redman shilled for some deodorant and...well, City High) by announcing Road Rules's bullcrap win in the step competition.

Titles. Credits. Awful song. The caption people mishear "Dump all your cash, we'll take care of the rest," as "Board the camper, we'll take care of the rest." Hee. Anyway, worst song. Worst song. End.

RV. Driving. Eric is asleep. Shane and Rachel fuck around, putting an open condom (not used, I pray) on Eric's face. Rachel and Shane laugh. Kendal says they're all getting along. Darrell camera-talks that he's having "fun." We see him and Shane laughing and then Darrell goes, "I'm going to make the best of whatever I'm with." Oh my God, people. He can't even refer to Shane as a person. Not "whoever" but "whatever." Aw, but then again, after reading his 'blog, I think he might just not know the difference.

The kids drive into Alabama. Rachel asks Sarah -- who has a mouthful of food -- how two parents who are both doctors could shun their kid like Sarah's folks did. Sarah explains that they were trying to prove a point. She says she was a really good kid in high school, but then when she came back from college, she started hanging out with some band all night. They all agree that her parents giving her the divorce was extreme. Rachel camera-talks that she can feel bad for Sarah and relate, but she wishes Sarah would not be such a douche when it came time for the missions.

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Road Rules




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