Road Rules

Episode Report Card
Stee: C+ | 473 USERS: C+
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Plateen

Meanwhile, Sarah camera-talks that Mr. Cox (ha hee) seems pretty nice and amiable. He tells the kids that their mission is to be freshmen -- who are known as "Knobs" because of the way they look when they all shave their heads -- and survive two days of training. Shane tells us that pieces of crap on the road are treated better than Knobs are. Mr. Cox (ho hee) says that they can't smile, they have to do shit with a sense of purpose, and they should have fun with it. Yeah, right. Shane then camera-talks that he was in ROTC in college but quickly realized it wasn't for him. Hey, I'm not "asking" or "telling" here. Shane says it's going to be funny to see how the others -- who haven't been through this as he has -- react. Mr. Cox says that if they do something wrong, they'll be given demerits. ExpositionSarah then camera-snots that if they get one hundred demerits, they won't be allowed to go to the Bulldog Challenge, and they will fail their mission. Mr. Cox (hee) says that the Bulldog Challenge is an obstacle course, and that all six have to pass it for them to pass their mission. Sarah tells us she's so out of shape. No shit, girlie. I bet Real World Tonya could kick your ass while passing a kidney stone. Mr. Cox goes on to say that they won't get no demerits. "One demerit for using a double negative, Stee!"

The kids -- standing with their arms crossed, looking cold and bored and scared -- watch the cadets go through some weird yelling ritual in the main quad. "Pick it up!" they're yelling, and, "All ye who enter..." and shit like that. Kendal bitches that she's pissed. Then, suddenly, a bunch of cadets charge the kids and start screaming at them, getting all commando in their faces. Eric stands straight up while Sarah and Kendal both look horribly offended that they're being yelled at. It's very very funny. Shane, however, keeps laughing. Bad Shane. Man, Eric really looks like he's about to cry trying so hard to please all the big men around him, while Sarah goes cross-eyed with confusion. Kendal camera-whines, bratting that people who were nice are suddenly being mean. She doesn't like it at all. Neither do I, honey. Darrell tells us that he was just wondering who he was going to hit first, because there was going to be a fight. Some of the cadets clearly aren't very good at the Bad Cop part of it, but some love it, yelling shit like, "You're in hell! You're in my world now!" I know I'm in hell. Shane camera-talks that he knew this was coming, but he's worried about whether they're going to make it through this. Sarah keeps fucking cracking me up. The cadet behind Shane is one of the not very good ones, and really looks like he's just hitting on Shane in a club, yelling his phone number over the Basement Jaxx. Someone tells Kendal that she's about to get the shock of her life. The only way Kendal could shock me is if she doesn't suck some dick on this trip. Commercials.

Road Rules

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