Road Rules
Rollin Rollin

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Outside. Standing. A cadet asks Sarah what the doc said. She says she's not supposed to compete. She voice-overs that she bruised her hip and the doc advised her not to do the Bulldog Challenge. Oh, bullshit. This is stupid. The cadet tells Sarah to stand at the finish line and cheer her "pretty teammates" on when they come through. Ha. Eric then camera-talks that B/M is changing the rules, and because of Sarah's "injury," they only have to have the five of them make it to win the mission. Crap. Totally crap.

On the field, Sarah apologizes to Rachel and lies that she really wanted to compete. Kendal camera-whores that she thinks Sarah gave it her best. Shane talks some sense, saying that he thinks Sarah could have stepped up and gone through and this would have been a chance for them all to come together. Mr. Cox comes (hee) to them and lies what a great day it is for the Bullcrap Challenge. Eric tool-overs that this is the final for the Citadel and they need to apply everything they've learned here to pass it. What, getting yelled at? That's some good training. Mr. Cox is forced to humiliate himself by saying that if all five pass in three hours, they will get a trip to Cancun from GREEK101.COM. He then tells them they can be excited about that. The kids kinda smile. Hm. This is all very embarrassing for our country. I even feel bad for Mr. Cox, who has to live with that name and shill for B/M's shitty sponsors, too. Rachel tells us that the trip is more than enough incentive.

On a dock, the kids dive into the water in their clothes and swim. Other cadets follow. Now they jog in wet clothes. Then crawl on the grass, then do a goofy-ass wheelbarrow race, as Tool plays. Tool is a fitting band to play during Road Rules. Kendal wheelbarrows on her elbows, tired. Chin-ups. Eric camera-talks that no one is giving up. They have two hours left as the kids crawl through the grass. Shane tries to help Kendal, but she tells him to let go of her arm. She then tells us that she's looking to her dead daddy for strength. She feels like he's watching, and she wants to do something so his ghost can go, "That's my kid." Uh.

The kids jog some more, then crawl over obstacles and logs and walls. Yelling. Yelling. Grunting. Kendal in slo-mo. Shane lisps that his admiration for Kendal has shot up, given the way she's refusing help and shit. Kendal camera-talks that physical ability doesn't matter -- it's just contributing to the mission. Yeah, Sarah. More jogging. Then they say, "Road Rules on three!" and cheer, jogging the final hundred yards. They pass with one hour left over. The best is Sarah at the finish line, waving a flag. They all walk right past her! Heeeeeee. They all hug as Darrell camera-talks that he was pissed at first, but he had fun with it and is glad he did this. Eric says that the "five" of them dug deep and got through it. It looks like he's stolen the flag away from Sarah. Ha. Sarah tries to talk to Rachel, telling her that she overheard the cadets saying the Road Rules kids were doing better than they thought they would. Rachel laughs a "fuck you" laugh. She then camera-talks that she's understanding Sarah more and feels for her more. Uh, how?

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Road Rules

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