The kids are eating dinner in the tent and Adam toasts something about them laughing at farts together, and we'll let that touching sentiment hang in the air (ew) as Blair floats that it's over and it's sad but not sad cuz it's over. The kids toast, and crap music continues to play crappily, and we limp to commercials like we've never limped before.
Morning. The kids get on a bus at 5 AM to go back to McGuire. As they drive, Adam babbles about tight bonds, and Blair babbles, "We're like a fraternity now, you know?" So the keg stands are at 7, the group peeing on the floor at 9, and then date rape at 11? Ellen voice-overs something, but who really cares?
Base. The kids are flying out on a KC-10. Adam explains that a KC-10 is a refueling plane. The kids get on the big plane and there's a huge Air Force banner in the background, but they don't get a good shot of it, so I guess the Air Force defaulted on their commercial payment to B/M or something. The trip will take five hours; they'll refuel planes in mid-air and then arrive back at the base. Huh. That sounds very boring -- a five-hour flight in a circle. Sort of like the feeling of watching a episode of this show. Now the kids are in the refueling bay (I just made that term up -- you like it?), and they get excited as a B-2 Stealth Bomber approaches for refueling. Blair says that no one else ever gets to be that close to it. The B-2 crew radios a message to the Road Rules gang that they have to return the crest in one piece to some Major General back at the base. What bullshit this is. Just such a waste of everyone's time. ExpoEllen explains what we just heard and also says, "Handsome reward," getting ten bucks from B/M for saying it. I don't think anything makes me madder than "handsome reward." The kids deplane on a red carpet.
Now the kids are back on a bus, and Sophia is floating exactly the same thing Ellen just said, including "handsome reward." Fuck, man. I'm tired already. Adam comes up with the brilliant plan that when they hand over the crest, they should all put a hand on it. Wow. I don't know what to say. Now, because there's time to waste and nothing to talk about, they have Sophia float that she looks at the crest and thinks wow, six different people came together to "make something great happen." What? Did I miss something. What did they make happen that was great?
So the kids enter a big-shot military meeting and they salute and say, "Road Rules Ten, all present and accounted for." I give up. The Major General says a speech -- as Adam tries not to laugh -- listing the ten "virtues" and talking about how much they've been through and blah blah blah GoDefendOurCountrycakes. He lies that he's proud of them and gives them a little box, telling them to go to Hangar 50 and turn a switch, whereupon the door should open. The Six of Suck bring up the crest, Steve refusing to put a hand on it, and leave. They run across the base. The captions say something I don't hear -- I guess they edited it out. Ellen says, "I think it's stupid they're making us run." Hee. Of course it is.