Road Rules
Snakes, Snakes Everywhere

Episode Report Card
Stee: C- | Grade It Now!
Get your bitch on

Tioga. Day. Jisela is on her phone, and then she floats that their phones are working finally, and that as long as she has her phone to her ear, nothing can take away her happiness. Jisela is the girl who stands next to me in line at the post office and I have to hear her telling her friend exactly why she should break up with her boyfriend and then a song-by-song analysis of the new Destiny’s Child CD. Hate that girl. She says that she’s close to her family and needs to talk to her family constantly. She jumps out of the RV and Adam gets an idea. Laughing to Blair, he pulls the Tioga up next to Jisela and holds down the horn. He’s cackling like a moron. So is Blair. Jisela just stares. She tries to ignore him but it goes on and on and on and even I’m annoyed now. Jisela runs to kick his ass but he locks the driver's side door. She runs in the back and starts yelling at him that it’s not fucking funny and she’s not fucking playing. He keeps laughing. She’s still holding the phone to her ear and I feel bad for her poor mom’s ears. Adam then floats, “I think honking the horn while somebody is on the phone is funny.” He then tells Blair that it was one of the funniest things he’s ever done. Really? Wow. He must have one sad, boring little life. He flips it and starts telling Blair that Jisela's “impatience” is not something he wants to deal with, and likens her not thinking that having the horn blasting in her ear is the funniest thing that’s ever happened to her with not having a sense of humor. He can’t believe how mad she got. Adam then creepily floats, “I am impulsive, and my friends just learn how to cope with my behavior.” Yeah, all three of them think you’re the shit, I’m sure.

Driving. Jisela is still on the phone to her dad, speaking in fast Spanish. Subtitles! “He’s probably the stupidest man on earth…he thinks he is so funny. He swears to God he’s the last Coca-Cola in the desert.” What? Is that really a saying or did she make that up? Or maybe it’s subtle B/M product placement. We may never know. Jisela ends with, “See, Daddy, they’re a bunch of idiots!” Man, you know, every time someone is speaking a foreign language around me, I always have this paranoia that they’re talking shit about me. Now I learn that it’s true. Fuck. I knew it! Thanks, B/M. I think I’m going to learn Spanish so next time I go to the Taco Bell drive-thru I can make sure they’re not conspiring to spit in my Enchurrito.

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Road Rules




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