Road Rules
Surfing To Goodbye

Episode Report Card
Stee: C- | Grade It Now!
No Time Is a Good Time for Goodbyes

Morning. RV. Kendal asks Darrell what he wants the new girl to be like. Eric says that she should have a hot body. Darrell just wants her to be cool and outgoing. He then tells us that she could be gay, she could be a freak, "she could be Tourette's Syndrome..." Hee. He goes on that he just wants her to pass missions. Rachel now jokes that the new girl is going to come here and cry or walk around naked. Eric thinks they should tell the new girl she has to choose who to have sex with. Kendal says the poor new girl has no idea how fucked-up and dysfunctional their family is. Rachel camera-talks that the new chick is walking into a situation that's beyond her control, and that it's going to be hard for her. Rachel licks her lips, hoping the new girl likes girls.

RV. Crazy faux-classical music. The Road Rules school bus of yore comes and the boys go nutty. Shane and Eric run into the bus to find what Shane describes as "a small, little girl...beautiful. Like...beautiful." The girl is short and vaguely maybe Latina-looking, with big teeth. Her name is Raquel; she is eighteen years old, from Austin. She goes to UT. She meets the boys. They have this conversation: "What's up?" "Nothing. What's going on?" "Nothing." It's stunning. They ask if she's excited. She has that annoying college-girl voice where she draws everything out and sort of ends? all sentences? in a question mark? Eric tells us she is beautiful. So does Darrell. "Which more could you ask for?" asks Darrell. Hee. Which more indeed, Darrell. Which more indeed. Now Kendal and Rachel cat on over, claws out. Rachel gets a kick out of the whole name thing. I, however, do not. Raquel tells us that she's never done anything crazy, like bungee-jump. She is scared. She should be.

The kids bring Raquel into the RV. Kendal, trying so hard to be nice, tells her that it's messy but she'll get used to it. Raquel tells us she's neat and then tell the kids she just didn't want to smell anything funky; as long as it smells nice, she's okay. Kendal and Shane laugh like, "Bitch." Kendal tells us -- and I believe her -- that she wants to provide a good environment for the new girl. Rachel then asks Raquel if she likes missions. Raquel lies, "Yeah, yeah," but then adds that she's not very physical "with a lot of activities"; she says she's more of a "girly-girl." Everyone's faces: "Uh-oh." Raquel babbles on that she never had a father (uh-oh, one of those) and she's more prissy because of it so she only knows what it's like to be around women. Kendal asks if she's competitive and likes to win. She lies again, "Yeah." Sad Darrell tells us he only cares about the missions -- as long as she pulls her weight. Rachel camera-talks, stunned, that she was hoping Raquel was going to be different from Sarah and not girly. Oh well. You boot, you lose. Eric says that Raquel is not into "the whole Gun-ho..." thing. He's so stupid. As the kids all talk, Raquel babbles that she's going to be the new kid and it's hard and they all wanted someone tough so she hopes she can give it to them. She can't.

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Road Rules




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