So for a brief second we get eight split screens and my Quasar starts smoking. I think eight is a record so far. Man, that's some good producing! Really gives the show a "look." It's the "Ow, My Eyes, My Fucking Eyes!" look they teach so much about at TV school. Thankfully, we cut away to a shot of everyone being led out to a swimming pool. Here, they are told that the event is actually Synchronized Swimming, marking a nearly undetectable improvement from Babysitting as a mission for this here Maximum Velocity Tour. It is the Maximum Velocity Tour, is it not? Thanks, I just forgot there for a second. The trainers tell everyone that they'll be judged in two categories: I Don't Care Enough To Rewind The Tape And Find Out, and Somebody Bring Me Some No-Doz Please For The Love Of God. They'll also have to wear the assigned swimsuit, and one of the playmates complains, "My boobs are not going to fit in here." Maybe you should have thought of that before you had bags of saline liquid surgically implanted inside them, hmmmm? The boys hold up their required suits and everyone has a good laugh: they are little blue Speedos. So Jim Breuer was apparently quickly sent away as the kids and the hos begin training in the gym, learning routines on dry land. Kathryn keeps correcting everyone and the boys look annoyed.
Episode Report Card678 USERS: C+
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