Previously on Road Rules…quick montage of Kathryn and shrimpy-creepy boyfriend Reed together as Kathryn voice-overs how much she loves Reed and how great he is. Theo then recaps for us: that Laterrian and Kathryn were flirting and then went into the restaurant bathroom together. Kathryn tells Reed and Laterrian during her big bullshit couch talk that if the "key players" of a supposed hook-up say nothing happened, then nothing happened. Camouflaged bucket-headed Theo looks on, uninvited, and uneducated. In the Shasta, Theo eggs Kathryn on about lying. Laterrian, also then egged on by Theo, spills the beans about the Great Bathroom Caper, saying that Kathryn was the one who grabbed him and took him to the bathroom. Kathryn, talking on the payphone of their hotel says, "Guess who's coming home?" Sweet.
Okay, so the Graphic of the Stupid dubs this segment, "Goodbye." Yeah, goodbye quality television. Hello Road Rules. Kathryn talks to boyfriend Reed on the payphone again, saying, "I think I'm going to be leaving the show. It's just, like, all gone downhill." She's the one who went downhill. Down Mount Laterrian. So we cut to yet another payphone receiver, lying off the hook, the title "Kathryn's Mom" coming up. Kathryn's mom is a telephone?! Oh, no, Kathryn's mom is on the telephone. Oh. Okay. So basically she's making her mom hold while she talks to her boyfriend. That's fucked up. Ha…now she tells Reed to hold on while she talks to her mom. Kathryn, extremely dramatically, with the whisper voice to let you know she's being all serious, tells her mom that she needs to "get out of here." Girl, the hotel lobby has a front door. Oh, get out of Road Rules. Um…go ahead. Bye. As I fantasize about Kathryn leaving the show and how B/M would then be forced to focus more on Msaada, I realize Kathryn is still talking to her mom, so I pay attention just long enough to hear, "What would you do if no one in the world believed you?" She should go ask O.J. They're both guilty and yet cling to the belief that they're innocent. And like O.J. she could start a website, www.askkathryn.com, where people could ask her questions. "So, did you fool around with Laterrian in that restaurant bathroom?" "You know, it's just so tiring, all this talk of something that obviously didn't happen and so just let it go. Actually, I've just launched a full scale private investigation in order to discover just who it was gnawing on Laterrian's dick in the T.G.I. Friday's bathroom." Kathryn is retarded, and not in the vaguely cute and compassion-eliciting way. Kathryn bitches when her mom tells her to stay on the show. "I think I'm losing my mind, and I think what you're telling me is that you just want me to stick it out…I'm just extremely upset right now. Like, have you heard me this way?" My guess is yes. Every day from age two to the present. Kathryn remembers that Reed has been holding on the other line for four hours and talks to him. Somehow, in Kathrynland, "I cheated on you. I'm so sorry. Can we work through this?" becomes, "I have a gut feeling if I don't get out of this, I'm gonna die." Man, even Holly could take hyperbole lessons from this girl.