Road Rules
Swimming In Sex

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The Redneck Inquisition

Okay, so now we get a nighttime establishing shot of "Embassy Suites." Yes, HoJo's is out. Hello Embassy Suites. A step up? Yes! What did they do to deserve it? Absolutely nothing! The Graphic of Stupid reads "Swallow It," but I'm not going to bite at that obvious attempt to get me to make a blow-job joke. I would never stoop so low. So Holly and Kathryn rehearse their routine in the room, practicing "snake arms" and asking, "How cool does this look?" The rest of the kids watch as Laterrian, the source of this current tension, is on the phone. Strangely, Kathryn is wearing a t-shirt for the enemy Playmates. I wonder what she did to get that? Holly asks Laterrian to get off the phone, which he does. Now they all launch into an argument, Laterrian saying that they've been working on this "shit" all day and they probably aren't going to be able to do this stuff in nine feet of water, and he'd rather spend his time trying to reconcile his stuff with people at home. "I don't appreciate that (beep) getting in my ass when I'm on the phone." Ew, who was in Laterrian's ass? Scratch that. I don't want to know. So basically, Laterrian is complaining that they've been working all day to possibly win twelve thousand dollars? What a work ethic. James pipes up now, saying that Laterrian and Kathryn need to contain their feelings because otherwise they'll lose. Kathryn says, "Whatever," and bails. She heads down to the Shasta to write some poetry or do some little light sketching. The Graphic of Stupid now reads "Sold My Soul," and that's exactly what floaty, crying Kathryn thinks she's done. But sold it to Satan, specifically. As opposed to selling it to the guy down the street. "Nothing in the world is going to make things better…I was in the compromising position, but that doesn't mean I was going to sleep with you," she says, switching abruptly to the second person. "That's a dangerous assumption." Sniffle. B-O-O-H-O-O, Kathryn. Jesus. A different floaty Kathryn, now suddenly reborn, says that she "misbehaved" with Laterrian, and since it's affecting the group dynamic, she needs to do something about it. Man, if B/M knows anything, it's pacing. Brilliant transition, B/M. Go buy yourselves a sandwich.

So, the kids have a meeting on the hotel patio. Oooh, Kathryn certainly isn't as together as the floaty her seemed to indicate because she whips out of the room and says, to Msaada (who isn't even on screen, those B/M bastards), Holly, Theo, and James respectively, "Why is anyone the way that anyone is? Because I want to know about your mom and I want to know about your dad and I want to know about your parents' divorce and I want to know about your ex-girlfriend and why you dumped her on her ass right before you left. I want to know all those things but I'm not asking you and I'm not judging you on your things because it's your (beep) business." Um, I actually think I maybe follow her logic, but then again it's late and I'm so tired I think Laterrian has his hand on his dick this entire shot. Oh, he actually does. Never mind.

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Road Rules




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