The first. An academic team member, and an athletic team member. Second. A student eating meatloaf in the cafeteria, and the cook who prepared the meatloaf. Third. Physics student. Physics professor. The student body president and the person they defeated. A librarian and someone with overdue books. And a student on the Dean's List, and someone on academic probation.

I don't have words for how stupid this is. There are no words. I'll make up one. Plootank. This is plootank. Totally. What suck. What totally suck plootanky bullshit. B/M should really pack it in. It's over. Move into topiary gardening or something. It's over. You don't care. How can we? How can we?!

Okay. The Mayor chick goes on that the people they find have to be able to prove that they fit the categories, and they have to do all this in five hours. ExpoRachel tries to explain it, but we don't care.

Kids. On campus. Trying to find people. Darrell is just yelling "Anyone want to bungee-jump with overdue library books?" Hee. Very clear, Darrell. Now Sarah is trying to get this Physics professor, but he won't. She camera-talks, first digging her pinky into her nose for boogers, that she's having doubts about finding her professor. Commercials.

The kids. Still trying to find people. Shane and Rachel find a female basketball player. Ooh, a female basketball player -- one of their "team." Kendal and Eric find Dean's list and fuck-up. Drunk basketball chick yells at the camera that she can prove it, pulling out some pin or something. Darrell finds someone with an overdue book. Eric tells us that Kendal already found his buddies, but now Eric needs to find his president and loser.

Speaking of which, Shane is just asking people if they're "going to" eat meatloaf. This is such bullshit. I don't know why I'm mad, but obviously it's all fixed and bleh. Shane meets Miles, telling him which dorm cafeteria serves meatloaf.

Sarah and Darrell walk up with two girls who are going to jump. I'm about to jump.