Kim: What would you have done if she had noticed you? Flashed her the MBTV gang sign?
Stee: Totally. I thought she did a fine job on this show, but man, Theo is holding onto a dream. Last I heard, he was making sandwiches for a living or something. He was so stiff when he had to introduce himself.
Kim: He barely talked, and when he did, it didn't make any sense. Much like the entire Road Rules season last year.
Stee: And they made him throw in "Maximum Velocity Tour." He was all embarrassed.
Kim: Yeah, he totally mumbled it. "I'm Theo from Road Rules Mmm hmmm frrmmr."
Stee: And he tried to throw in a few Theoisms, like "tragic trout," but like the fish in his backyard crick, no one was biting.
Melissa and Theo introduce Mary-Ellis Bunim and Jonathan Murray, the creators of these fine shows. They come out and give a little speech, using note cards, explaining in what ways the upcoming season will be different. On Road Rules, the cast is allowed to fail one mission. For every mission failed after that, they have to vote off one cast member. On The Real World, if anyone gets fired from the "job" given to them, that person has to leave the house. Later, Murray "explains" (that is, reads from a cue card) to his fellow casting directors that there will be three tests during this audition retreat: Show & Tell, Truth or Dare, and a Final Interview.
Stee: The funniest thing for me was how Murray was all, "And then the winners will be on The Real World...oh, or Road Rules." Did you see how much Murray is Bunim's bitch? And I loved his fake-ass talk to the fellow casting people. Bunim looked like she was going to beat Murray up for being all tense. And she kept interrupting him. Love it.
Kim::Yes. Bunim and Murray are totally going to be recurring characters in my recaps this year, like Aaron does with The Sopranos. Because why make up my own jokes when I can just rip them off from other recappers? I loved how Bunim and Murray had note cards during their "opening speech." Like they couldn't just edit it afterwards if they screwed up.
Stee: Yeah, in my recaps, I have Bunim and Murray talking to each other a lot. It's great fun.
It's time for the first round of Show & Tell. Ellen gets up and explains that she is "a pretty, pretty princess." Her item is a tiara. Ellen tells a touching, poignant story about a time when she went out for cheerleading, and screwed up, so she entered a beauty pageant and won, and rubbed it in the other girls' faces. Dustin brought photos from when he did volunteer work. Tom inexplicably brought a photo of Chevy Chase (the actor, not the town in Maryland). Adam brought a rock-climbing shoe, and says something about finding your spot in the crack. Coral brought a meditation book because people get on her nerves and she likes to be alone sometimes. Amen to that. Segun brought a mirror because he can only control how he looks.