Morning. The boys psych themselves up and then they get a message on their MOTOROLA NEXTEL cell phone that the University of South Carolina Gamecocks (heeeeeeeeee!) would like to show them some Southern hospitality. Shane then repeats the word "Gamecock" with a straight face. Man, the puns are coming fast and furious; I said "straight face"! The kids go into a tavern and get a free meal and they chow down. Chow Down Montage. More eating. Then they're stuffed. Then the new Mission Mayors, Ron and Manasi come by and say they hope they saved room for dessert. Fuck off, Mayors. Don't you have a pothole to fix or something?
On a field, Ron says they could win this scooter, but it has an Italian name and I don't feel like giving the company another plug. Now they're inside and he's wearing a doctor's coat. He tells the kids the mission is "the famed" Freshman Fifteen. They have to gain fifteen pounds in four hours, as a group. Yikes. Kendal reminds us that they just ate a big meal. The rules are that they have to go knocking around and get food from students' rooms, but no take-out or even left over take out. Just crap private student stash. They also are only given about sixteen ounces of water to drink. The Manasi girl looks like Meadow Soprano, and seeing how big a media whore that girl has been lately, I wouldn't be surprised if this were her new gig. At least it's better than robbing NYU kids at knifepoint. That's not a good hobby for an off-season Soprano kid. The teams are split to Rachel, Shane, and Eric. Then Kendal, Sarah, and Darrell. They get weighed, which is really just another excuse to get the kids into their underwear. I'm not complaining. Shane is 165. Rachel is 129. Eric is 185. Darrell is 176. Kendal is 123.5. Sarah is 141. Wow. Shane is only twenty pounds heavier than Sarah. Also, now at least we can figure out exactly how much lighter the RV will be after Sarah leaves. The kids cheer, "Fat kids!" Ironically, that's a new Nickelodeon show, premiering this fall.