The bus drives and the kids get to know each other and quickly make sure we hate them. Sarah launches into how she hates girls and is more masculine and hangs with the dudes. Kendal camera-talks that she tends to be girly.
They arrive at Appalachian State University on the faux-football field where they meet Mission Mayors (yes, they're still calling them that) Steve and Jen. Steve leads off a chorus of cheers by welcoming them to the eleventh blah of blah, and then trots out the yearly big lie, which is that this year things are different. No. They're never different, Steve. One day I'm going to be forty, sitting on my Mylar couch eating my food pellets and recapping Road Rules. Things don't change. Sadly. Steve tools on that they will be going to fifteen unlucky campuses and doing missions and getting prizes. If they fail two missions, they have to cut someone. Darrell tells us that he didn't know people were getting the boot. Obviously, he didn't watch last season. He and America. Sarah is deflated before our eyes, she says. So are your chances of not getting cut, honey.
The kids go to get their keys. They walk to a big water area where screaming bored college kids stand. Eric tells us the screaming girls made him happy. The Road Rulers make asses of themselves as they go to the water's edge on a pier. The canned cheering continues as Steve talks about their annual Polar Plunge, a fundraising thing. There are buoys in the water with keys. They have to dive in and get the keys and see which one unlocks the Fleetwood. The water is nearly freezing. All six will jump in at the same time, clothed or not. Eric camera-talks that he's "so psyched to take [his] shirt off and hear the girls yell." Hey Eric, can you hear me yell? "You are a fucking tool!!!" Hear that? Good. You can All-American kiss my ass. Darrell tells us that Shane and Eric were loving the crowd but he wasn't used to people cheering for him. Eric has my boxers. I'm going to go throw them away. Sarah camera-talks something taking the rare chance to be in her undies in front of a crowd. She says she feels popular. Rachel is the only one clothed. Commercials.
Back. Cheering. There is a thing they try to make seem dramatic where Shane jumps in early. Who the fuck cares. Slo-mo. So-stupid. It's cold, says Shane and Darrell and Kendal. They swim to the keys and get out but we don't even get to see nip as suddenly they're dressed in warm clothes and drinking coffee and getting into their RV. Morons designed it with a notion of what college kids would find cool. There is a sticker that says "Pimp Mobile" and handcuffs and a Lounge sign in the bedroom. Shane tells us that the RV is phat as hell. They get directions to go to an RV park. They drive, Kendal thinking about flashing her titties. And as they drive away, Appalachian State University both takes a deep sigh of relief and then of sadness as they realize that was the most exciting event that will take place there all school year.













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