Road Rules
The Woodie Crawl

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What Bright Side?

Driving. They go to a campground and get their site. Sundown. They read shit on their iBook about the season and prizes. If they fuck up two missions, they can give away all prizes they have earned so far, or give someone the Jisela. The kids whine about having to boot someone. Kendal hysterically calls the rule about giving back the prizes "shallow." All three girls immediately start saying they should vow to fuck the prizes and not boot someone off, all three fearing being booted off. Shane is not in favor of making a pact; obviously he's pretty sure he's going to be hating someone soon. They all giggle.

Bedtime. Kendal and Eric put down a sofa bed. She tells him she's going to rock his world. Eric tells us he gets to sleep with her. She tells us he's cute. Shane watches, laughing. Everyone is all sleeping together. There is a "sex monkey" stuffed animal near them. Eric and Kendal start counting a bowl of condoms, to see how many are then gone by the end of the trip. Everyone is sort of laughing and being stupid and then everyone's asleep. But then Shane whispers what are they doing and Kendal says nothing and he says he heard the sheets rustling and knows what's up. Eric's private gay side comes out when he invites Shane to come cuddle with them. I don't understand. Shane comes over. Kendal is between the boys and Shane asks where Kendal's panties are and everyone laughs. Shane calls himself "the walking chastity belt" for them. Eric laughs his ass off. Then it's morning.

Morning. They head back to the school for their real mission.

Sarah camera-talks that she's not trying to guess what their mission is. Really? Wow. How interesting.

They arrive at two nine-storey dorms with cables running between the two roofs. Kids are screaming and our kids are wondering what they're going to have to do. Darrell is excited. They wonder some more.

At the top, they get harnessed in, and Eric talks about being high up. Some Old Dude talks to them about not getting near the edge when they're excited and not clipped in. All right, old-timer. Someone has drawn a chalk body outline down below. The Mayors show up with money: six thousand dollars. They announce that the kids will pair up into teams of two, and go across the wires, just holding onto each other, face to face. Steve says the wires are "a freaking hundred and eight feet" off the ground. Hee. Douchebag. It's sixty feet across. Each boy-girl team gets two chances only. Kendal jumps up and down and claims Eric as her teammate. Shane and Rachel -- the Gays -- are together. "Gay Pride," says Rachel. Darrell and Sarah don't pick each other, but are stuck together, bitches Sarah.

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Road Rules

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