Road Rules
The Woodie Crawl

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What Bright Side?

Back in the RV, they're all bummed and wondering if they'll ever pass a mission. Sarah lies that they've gotten closer the last couple days and now they trust each other more. Eric says he just immediately trusted them all. Sarah camera-talks that she can bear the weight of the world, but to trust others takes work. Sarah tells the group that she's self-reliant and doesn't need anyone. They all look worried. Sarah camera-talks that "trust is earned," and that they haven't earned her trust yet. Rachel tells us that things are bad. Yes, sister. They are. Is it too early to say to Sarah, "Buh bye"? Yeah, I didn't think so. Buh bye, Sarah. I recommend orbitz.com or travelocity.com to book your flight back to Oklahoma.

RV park. Night. Jen from the fake B/M Mayor's office comes by the RV to ask if anyone feels like partying. Where I come from, knocking on an RV in the middle of the night and asking that would make her a hooker. But instead, she's an adjunct B/M employee, which really isn't much different. Shane says that he's going out partying and that he's not going to bum around the RV just because Sarah ruined everything. So they all go out to this, like, tiny little house where it's just them basically standing around fake-cheering and drinking and dancing. Rachel does this really disquieting neck-dance. Eric laughs. Shane laughs, totally on the prowl for some gay Appalachian tail. Eric tells us that the more they're around together, the more he finds himself attracted to Shane...I mean, "Kendal." They dance. Kendal dances sexy. Eric dances like the white boy All-American he is: awfully. Meanwhile, Darrell tries to get Sarah to dance, but she just bitches that she doesn't dance at all and that instead of being shy, she's aware of her capabilities. Darrell kinda looks like Humpty Hump here. More of Eric and Kendal dancing. Rachel says that Eric digs Kendal more than Kendal digs Eric. Yeah, no shit. Kendal then tells us that Eric is the type of person she could "get into a relationship with." (Read: have drunken, regretful, bad sex with.) She closes that he's a big dork, but he's sweet. I'm getting the impression that Kendal could chew Eric up and spit him out...and still be hungry again by lunchtime.

RV. Driving. Sarah sleeps. Rachel bitches that Sarah should be up and getting to know them. Rachel says that Sarah's isolating herself and shows no interest in group activities. Darrell says that he was freaking her at the party, but she wouldn't dance. Rachel -- the great all-knowing -- says that one needs to relate and tell people "your story." She goes on, "It's what you make of it." I wish this show would be what I made of it, because it would just be naked girls and maybe some yelling, and then it would be over. Oh, yeah, they have that. It's on Cinemax every night at 2 AM.

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Road Rules

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