Road Rules
Theo Takes A Leap

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My Momma Told Me

So Holly and Sherry get ready to do the tandem bungee; they prepare by doing their patented Scaryteeth warm-up. They jump without speaking as we get shots of the other parents looking up worriedly. Holly has really been relegated to Msaada-minutes in terms of screen time and story-line time. I miss her. We all miss her. Did you ever think that would happen? Could you have even conceived of a time where Holly's presence would be missed? I know. It's astounding. Up go Msaada and Leslie as the multi-shots show the kids singing a incomprehensible "Msaada" song with hand gestures and everything. After jumping, Leslie says, "There was a moment, of some pleasure," which is oddly enough what my last date said to me. (Buh-Bing!!!) Linda and Kathryn are up next and they wave from the top to what has now become a huge group of kids watching. Seriously. I think there are more people down there then there were to watch David sing the national anthem at that hockey game on The Real World the other night. "This is nuts," says the very cute and smiley MamaKathryn as they fall back and complete their jump. The team now has eight points total, again for you losers at home with the scorecards. Later, Kathryn tells the camera, "My mom believes there should be a Road Rules for senior citizens." "I'm not a senior citizen," corrects MamaKathryn. Hee. Laterrian and Cynthia are up next, and Cynthia is quite scared. "I can't do this," she says, and Laterrian totally ignores her and pushes off for the both of them. Okay. So as MayorSteve reminds us, there is only one team left and we get very unflattering shots of Theo's mom slack-jawedly staring up at the crane. Kathryn tells some Bungee Guy that MamaTheo has herself a slipped disc. "Is it a jerk?" asks MamaTheo. Bungee Guy tells her that she won't even feel it and to just go. The Bungee Boss quickly throws a rock at Bungee Guy that reads "Possible Lawsuit!" so he then adds, "Uh…well, you kinda gotta make your own decision about that." The crowd of kids and parents stand surrounding her. Well, looks like she's going, and the bungee guys strap them in. "We're gonna be shackled together," says MamaTheo. "It's cool, man," replies Theo, pretty much recreating the three-page Arkadina/Treplev scene from Chekhov's The Seagull, in only two sentences. Then as they lift off the ground, she says, "I'm not really very happy about this, Theo." Ha. She's also very scared so she closes her eyes and they go. Unfortunately, the cord breaks and Theo and his mother fall to their deaths, taking out Bunim and Murray, who unwisely chose that day to finally come to the set and see what's up with that show they no longer have time for. Actually…everyone's fine, and after the jump, Theo floats, saying, "I think it kind of, like, gave us, like, a little, like, a, a little stair-step of friendship there. It meant a lot to me. It was nice." A wordsmith to the end. After the jump, everyone is congratulating Theo and MamaTheo, and she looks happy and way more animated than we've seen her in the whole episode.

Okay -- now this, folks, this next revelation is ten times more embarrassing to admit than my Holly fetish, so please either scroll ahead or promise not to laugh. When MamaTheo tells the camera, "It was great to have that experience of togetherness with my son," I get misty. I do. I can't help it. Damn. Damn. Oh B/M, I'm going to get you. Someday. You just wait. She goes on, "In a way we were together as one unit…falling through the skies." And the worst part is that right as she finishes talking, Theo puts his arm around her and she kisses him on the cheek. Damn. Excuse me…I'll be right back…

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Road Rules

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