Road Rules
Unfair Warfare

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Saving Private Steven

The news hit the fourteen who watch this season like two or three bricks -- MTV was going to cram these last two episodes into one night to sooner be done with this tenth season, so they can spend more time figuring out how to gently tell Carson he needs to lay off the Shamrock shakes, and decide how in her next video to hide Pink's dick. So this is the second to last episode of this Dudley Moore-tired show. Enjoy it while you bleh.

The Music of My Sad Morning with Coffee and Road Rules plays as Blair floats that they got instructions to pack up the Tioga because that was the last time they were going to see it. Packing. Packing. The kids paint the RV with their faces -- or it was already like that and they're doing more, could be, who knows -- as Sophia voice-overs that she's had a great adventure in Spain and Morocco. Packing. Packing. The Crack Editing Team is not giving up yet because they do this super-wack thing where one of the Six leaves the RV and they cut to a Super 8 shot of the RV driving, and then another kid leaves, and back to more footage of the precious Tioga -- it's like we're shooting Old Yeller or saying goodbye to Black Beauty or something.

Credits. My uncle has better credit and he's defaulted on two home loans and filed for bankruptcy. Zing! Goodnight, everybody!

Night. Short bus. The kids are crammed into a short bus as Steve, looking tired, explains that they've traded in their RV for a van that seats four. Katie camera-talks that they're going to New York with a stop in Paris. In the back seat, ADDam starts correcting her, saying they're not going to Paris. Katie is having some sort of psychotic delusion if she thinks B/M is flying them to Paris. You're lucky if they'll pay for a Cessna to Guam piloted by a drunk Patrick Swayze, and a tugboat from there to the States. The front row of Steve, Blair, and Katie tell the back row that it's their turn and Adam yells that they can then keep spouting their "incorrect bullshit" until it's the back seat's turn. Blair responds, "Why don't you keep listening to your illegal MP3 player and shut the fuck up?" Hee. Adam says something about sucking his dick, but they bleep him. That's Ellen's job, anyway. (Hey, I only have two more episodes to make Ellen-sucking-off-Adam jokes. I'm going to get it while I can...so is Adam, I assume.) Katie smiles.

Blair then floats that they're getting really sick of each other. Sophia floats that everyone's flaws are starting to everyone else. Ellen says they're ready to go their separate ways. A plane. It flies. They head to America, we can tell from a helpful map. A song starts that goes, "Return back home after three months on the road." Nice job. Wonderful.

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Road Rules

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