Road Rules

Episode Report Card
611 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
If You Build It, They Will Suck

Ellen. Piano music. Shot from the street conversation again. Montage of them talking to her. More music. Singing. Ellen smokes, upset. She says she cares a lot and that if she gives so much and doesn't get back, she puts up a wall; she says she needs to "dig deeper" and hope the other respond. Fuck off. She cries. The kids eat somewhere, wondering where Ellen is. Ellen is crying, and Blair asks her to talk to him about it. Ellen doesn't speak English as she says something to the effect that it's all too much, but a "positive" too much. Ellen camera-talks that it's all hitting her right now; she misses her friends and she didn't realize she cared this much. Bullshit. Then Blair makes jokes and I don't understand. So now it's all changed without anything even happening and people hug her and Sophia floats that Ellen has a lot of potential.

Flamenco guitar as Blair shows us the lucky, dirty socks he wears for every mission. The kids put on clown-looking striped suits as HiSteve says that he wouldn't give them odds on making this. Their outfits are the official tower clothes, and Ellen can't help feeling part of something. Well, she is, technically. Build up to them performing the tower at noon. They're nervous. Women dance and play music. Ellen is nervous. Steve is nervous. Katie is nervous. Steve can hope and just has to trust Ellen. Blair says that Ellen has to put aside her pride and work for the group.

Noon. Time to build. The kids climb up. Sophia falls. Adam says it's harder than it looks, and Steve says it feels like there are seven people on your shoulders. Steve voice-overs, as Ellen climbs, that she's thinking about the team and not fucking around. I'm sorry, but Spain does some stupid-ass public shit. With the bulls and tomatoes and the meringue and now this. Ellen keeps climbing as Steve keeps talking. Ellen voice-overs that the kid is heavy. The boys stand on Ellen's shoulders and she goes into a slo-mo montage of her saying, "What if..." and then talking about falling and fucking up. The kid grabs her face. Montage. Montage. Talking. Talking. The kid climbs up and the crowd cheers. They did it. Whoo. Whatever. Ellen gets down and hugs the trainer like she's about to blow him. Ellen tells us she's proud of herself. Everyone hugs. Ellen did a good job, though. Fine. I'll give her that. All the kids voice-over and float about how well Ellen did, and Blair says that it's "huge respect" from the city that they'd allow a girl to be the top; then the boy comes over, delivering the Crest of Blah, their mission complete.

Road Rules

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