The girls hop on Bret's bus and the whole crew heads to the Coyote Ugly Saloon. Bret is wearing his formal "American Outlaw" cowboy hat, which puts the "ugly" in Coyote Ugly. Beverly has gotten sexed up for a change, after all the peer pressure to bust out her boobs and ass. Bret doesn't actually say, "Me likey," but you know he's thinking it. That is until Beverly tells him that he really needs to fucking shave, as he has five day old scruff on his face. Taya interviews that when Beverly's hammered, which I'm guessing is all the time, she has no filter. Beverly wonders what the fuck the scruff is about, and Bret notes that he had the same sort of scruff in the "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" video. And the Beverly is suddenly awesome as she says, "...There you go. That was a long ass time ago." Jamie is dying, and tells us that Beverly is getting weirdly aggressive. Bret wonders what her psycho deal is, and Beverly tells him to check himself before he wrecks himself. Maybe there's sort of a package thing with her where when her boobs are allowed to come out, the evil is, too.
Everything then gets way too "passive aggressive couple who have been together for 100 years" style uncomfortable. Bret interviews that he knows Beverly is pissed about something, but hasn't the foggiest idea what it is. He says to Beverly that she has anger issues she's going to have to deal with one day. Beverly's reply is an angry, "Well alright then, I guess I'll shut the fuck up, then, damn. Apparently I got anger issues." "Apparently I got anger issues" is totally going to be my quote of the month. Taya starts to tell Beverly how to channel her anger. This is totally Beverly's chance to punch Taya in the throat, but she doesn't do it and disappoints us all. Bret leaves, because he hasn't got time for the pain. Jamie interviews that Beverly's really fun when she's not being an alcoholic and all.
The ladies dance on the bar, and Farrah and Ashley get cozy. Bret tells us that at this point on the tour, Farrah's kissed Ashley way more than she's kissed him. He wonders if she's here for him, or for the non-stop party. At least she doesn't got anger issues. Oh, and speaking of, Beverly drunkenly dances on the bar as Bret, below her, tells the bartender to cut her off. She falls on him and starts humping his neck as amused onlookers enjoy the show. Bret thinks it's time to go before Beverly cracks her head, and the heads of innocent bystanders. Everyone heads to the bus, and Ashley tells Bret that she's ready to get crazy. Adult beverages are enjoyed, and Beverly gives a death glare when she notices that Bret has his arm wrapped snugly around Jamie's waist. Ashley tells Bret that his lips are hot, and to test her theory Brittanya starts sucking face with him. Beverly gives another death glare and spouts off some expletives. Ashley interviews that Beverly was in a corner by herself for the entire ride, shooting death glares with her crazy eyes. Ashley wonders if she might kill them all. I mean, if we're lucky. Best season ever!