But wait! Taya interviews that they got to a point in the evening when she didn't feel right about staying. She totally didn't bang him! Quelle surprise. I bet she touched his backstage pass, though. Taya hopes that this didn't ruin everything. Bret interviews that there's no truth to the idea that if a woman doesn't get intimate with a man that she earns his respect. As a matter of fact, he says, he happens to respect every woman he ever fooled around with. Angelique, even? The point of all this is that Taya didn't spend the night, which has nothing to do with the fact that now Bret can't stop thinking about her. Taya heads back to the room, and Mindy is not surprised. She says that Taya's trying to prove that she's a goody two-shoes who just happens to show her puss for a living. Mindy's not buying it.
The next morning Mindy is in a great mood. She doesn't know how well Bret and Taya's date went, but assumes it wasn't as good as her date with Bret since she got to the boffing stage and Taya didn't. They get Bret Mail telling them that they get a day of pampering at the spa. Taya is glad, because she needs a positive place to go in her mind. Well, I'm sure there's room in there. Mindy gets her mustache waxed, because sometimes love hurts.
Taya is then shuffled off to get fitted for engagement rings. Oh, come on now. What kind of Bachelor shit fuckery is this? We relive the highlights of Bret's relationship with Taya, starting from the moment she dropped trou for her backstage pass photo. She tells us that she's the perfect person for Bret. Mindy then gets fitted for her ring. We relive the highlights of Bret's relationship with Mindy, which possibly involved devirginization in some form or other. Mindy is surprised she's made it as far as she has, but feels the magic with Bret.
Taya puts on her finest stripper dress for the very last elimination. She also busts out the fake eyelashes. Mindy adorns herself in bronze wrapping paper. Taya is nervous, but Mindy is feeling good going into elimination. She says that Bret already feels like her boyfriend, and she can't imagine him with anyone else. Funny, since she's spent the last 12 weeks seeing him with 20-odd anyone elses. Bret tells us that he's not commitment-phobic like everyone thinks, but you can't blame him if he runs out of there screaming. He wonders if that will violate his contract. It's just one more way Bret will have violated us, really. Mindy and Taya stand before Bret, who assures them that he's put a lot of thought into this. He thanks them for taking this long, difficult, extremely strange trip. They've both handled it with dignity and class, which makes his decision hard. He says that this is the last time he's going to do this, which is at once a relief and a sadness to me. It's been a good ride, Bret. He wants to walk away with someone who's right for him. Mindy tells us that she feels like she's meant to be his, even though that sounds cheesy.