Rock of Love

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The Battle of Who Could Care Less

Bret admits that the conversation at dinner maybe got a little too serious, and says that he wanted to take Taya back to his room for some "quality time." Oh, please don't make me try and find more adjectives. Taya interviews that she wasn't expecting to fall for Bret, but she has. She wants Bret to love her for her. Bret tells Taya that in the future if they ever have arguments, she just has to dress sexy and she'll win. She asks if they're going to have makeup sex now. You can fill in the answer to that one yourself. They make out sloppily and Taya tells us that Bret's the kind of guy who knows how to crawl into your heart and stick in there. Yeah.

But wait! Taya interviews that they got to a point in the evening when she didn't feel right about staying. She totally didn't bang him! Quelle surprise. I bet she touched his backstage pass, though. Taya hopes that this didn't ruin everything. Bret interviews that there's no truth to the idea that if a woman doesn't get intimate with a man that she earns his respect. As a matter of fact, he says, he happens to respect every woman he ever fooled around with. Angelique, even? The point of all this is that Taya didn't spend the night, which has nothing to do with the fact that now Bret can't stop thinking about her. Taya heads back to the room, and Mindy is not surprised. She says that Taya's trying to prove that she's a goody two-shoes who just happens to show her puss for a living. Mindy's not buying it.

The next morning Mindy is in a great mood. She doesn't know how well Bret and Taya's date went, but assumes it wasn't as good as her date with Bret since she got to the boffing stage and Taya didn't. They get Bret Mail telling them that they get a day of pampering at the spa. Taya is glad, because she needs a positive place to go in her mind. Well, I'm sure there's room in there. Mindy gets her mustache waxed, because sometimes love hurts.

Taya is then shuffled off to get fitted for engagement rings. Oh, come on now. What kind of Bachelor shit fuckery is this? We relive the highlights of Bret's relationship with Taya, starting from the moment she dropped trou for her backstage pass photo. She tells us that she's the perfect person for Bret. Mindy then gets fitted for her ring. We relive the highlights of Bret's relationship with Mindy, which possibly involved devirginization in some form or other. Mindy is surprised she's made it as far as she has, but feels the magic with Bret.

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Rock of Love

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