Big John wakes up the girls the next morning with a Bret Mail delivery. Jamie and Taya have a limo waiting for them because they're going on a date with Bret. Mindy has to stay back at the hotel, and Bret hopes this doesn't cause an avalanche of mood swings. Well, at least he didn't say, "I hope no one's on the rag." The limo delivers Taya and Jamie to their date -- a helicopter ride with Bret. The day is beautiful, and the date so far is only sullied by Jamie's stupid headband, which never would have made it through a metal detector in real life. The helicopter lands and lunch awaits. But this is no time to enjoy food. It's time for Taya to tell Bret that Jamie is here playing the game. And she does, repeating what Jamie told her the night before about Mindy not being a threat. Jamie wants to take Taya down so badly, because she sucks. She also claims not to remember saying that. She does, however, redouble her conviction that Taya is far worse for Bret than Mindy, and says this aloud at the lunch. Wow, that Bret is one lucky guy, eh? Taya prattles on about how she puts Bret first, which is frankly pretty pathetic. Jamie thinks she's a big fake, and just says what Bret wants to hear. Bret kind of likes that Taya is so deferential to him, but also wonders if it's real or fake. Taya claims that she's just really good at rolling with it. She interviews that she's saying what she really feels, and if Bret can't believe her she might be going home. There is more talking about rolling and not rolling and who could roll with it best, and I'm dying for Farrah to pop up at the bottom of the screen and scream, "Laaaaaaame!"
The next day there is more Bret Mail, this time announcing that Mindy and Jamie are going on a double date. The mail says that where they're going the wind will blow through their hair and danger could be a friend. Danger is a friend to us if either of them gets impaled. Jamie is psyched that she gets to go on two double dates. She thinks that Bret is feeling her, which feels really good. It doesn't feel so good to Taya, though, who actually DOES channel Farrah and Ashley to call Mindy and Jamie lame. She has none of Farrah and Ashley's panache, but I appreciate the sentiment.
Bret greets Jamie and Mindy, who are wearing their finest cut-off denim. Bret explains that he wanted Jamie to come on the date because he still needs to get to know her, and also because if Mindy gets in one of her funks, he's got someone else to talk to. Today the girls have one of the most romantic dates of all time waiting for them -- swamp boat gator date! Bret says, "And you wonder why I'm single." No, actually, we don't. Bret makes out first with Jamie and then with Mindy. In the gator boat! That poor driver. That poor gator. When you live in a swamp you think you've seen it all, and then: this. Banjo music plays as the boat pulls to shore where a picnic is waiting. Bret pours some champagne and tries to stir up some conversation. He asks Mindy what kinds of things she likes to do on dates. She likes to go on swamp boat gator dates. It reminds her of the beaver pond, I guess. Bret says that when he's with Mindy and she's in a great mood, it just feels right. Right in an itchy sort of way.