Rock of Love
Double Dates

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Funked Up

Bret hurries the girls along with their dinner and takes them outside for some drinks. If he doesn't loosen them up, he says, he's going to strangle somebody. Strangle Taya! And Mindy too! Bret tells the girls that dinner was like a date with his in-laws. If he goes through another dinner like this, he says, he'll send all three of them home. DO IT. I actually think that the most fitting end to the Rock of Love trilogy would be for Bret to pull a Kelly Taylor and announce, "I choose me," to a duo of heartbroken skanks. Bret is brutally honest, and tells the girls that he doesn't do well with funks. He'd rather someone say passionately what's wrong than just go cold. He wants to walk away attempting to have a relationship with one of these three, and quite frankly he wants the experience to be funkless. He turns to Mindy and asks her what's up. Mindy says that this has been the best day and she's in awe. The others basically think that she's been lobotomized, which is quite possibly accurate. Taya tries to interject something about her own feelings, but Bret tells her to stifle for a minute and let Mindy finish. Mindy goes on some more about how fantastic the day was, and says she's not in a funk at all. Taya finds this awfully suspicious, and soon will hire The Bloodhound Gang to help her solve The Case of the Missing Funk.

Bret then asks Jamie what's up, and she too says she's fine. Bret interviews that he's just been through the most excruciating dinner he's ever had, and everyone else is having the time of their lives. Jamie then says that she's just waiting for Taya and Mindy to go at each other. They're sucking the life out of her, and ruining Bret's night, too. Seriously: worst threesome ever. Bret then addresses Taya, asking if her being on the show works into some sort of business plan. Taya tells Bret that her bosses aren't happy that she's here, and that in fact she has had to put the Pet of the Year shoot on hold. She's not on the show because of her job, she protests, because her job is telling her to come home. Given this economy, I'd listen to the job.

Bret says goodnight to Taya and Mindy and takes Jamie to hang out for a bit. He hasn't spent as much time with her as the other girls, so wants to give her her due, and also get a beej. This, of course, conveniently leaves Taya and Mindy alone to rip each other's throats out. But let's go back to Bret and Jamie. She's been awesome all day, says Bret, even with the Sisters Grim trying to bring her down. However, he needs to talk to her about something she said during their date. Basically, he has questions about how serious Jamie wants to be in a relationship. Jamie doesn't want to get married. She does want Bret to pick her, but wants to, you know, get to know him a little better. Bret thinks that Jamie is cool, but he's looking for more than a casual hook up. Yes, this is news to me too.

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Rock of Love

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