Rock of Love

Episode Report Card
Potes: B | 1339 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Unhinged Melody

Back at the hotel room, Taya and Beverly pack. Taya is still upset, but it's all about Mindy and what she said. She grills Beverly about the incident, and Beverly understands what Ashley and Farrah were talking about all this time. She interviews that it's bad enough to listen to Mindy whine about everything that doesn't go her way, but to have to listen to Taya complain about Mindy on top of it is too much for a mere mortal to handle. The two winners head to the jet with Bret, who is clearly frightened of Beverly's cleavage.

Back at the hotel, Jamie and Mindy mope about not being on a date with Bret. Then, inspiration strikes. Jamie suggests that they get a camera and take slutty pictures of each other. Nay, "classy-slutty" pictures. It's been done, but I can't say that it's a terrible idea. Jamie tells us that Taya always complains about the challenges of being a slutty model, but in fact it's easy and kind of great. I have to say, Jamie looks better than ever in her slutty photos. Less methy. Mindy's fine, too.

Bret, Taya and Beverly head to his concert. Taya tells us that Beverly is a third wheel, and so she's going to pretend that she's not even there. Beverly rolls her eyes to the heavens as they ride in the limo and Taya, like, massages Bret's temples. Bret heads to the stage -- hopefully after stopping for funnel cake -- and Beverly tells us that this is her ultimate date. Bret plays a song that I kind of like, the surprise of which distracts me from all of Taya's whining about Beverly's rock hands and Beverly's whining about Taya's swirly swively stupid Penthouse dance. Nonetheless, Beverly has had the time of her life on the date. She's never felt this way before. She swears. It's the truth. And she owes it all to a bewigged aging rock star.

After the show, Bret signs all sorts of stuff for fans, which is pretty endearing, even when it's breasts he's signing. He meets what is perhaps his oldest fan, and he calls her his hottest fan, which also makes me like him. Damn him! And then it's time to head back to Orlando. Already? I thought there were overnight hijinx! In the limo, Beverly pulls out two stuffed bears that she bought for her daughters. She'd like Bret to sign them. Taya interviews that it's pretty weird to try to get your sort-of-boyfriend's autograph. It is. Beverly asks Bret not to eliminate her before she finds something to get for her son for him to sign. I hope she does some quick shopping at the airport. Meanwhile, Taya is all over Bret and Beverly is pissed off. Beverly's problem is not being all over Bret. I mean, one of many, but she seriously needs to turn it up and stick that tongue somewhere effective.

Rock of Love

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