Bret, who is wearing a cap bearing the logo of the six-time Super Bowl-champions the Pittsburgh Steelers (woo!), announces that the teams will be configured according to bus. The Sweetheart team is comprised of blue bus members -- Taya, Kami, Beverly, Mindy and Brittanya. The Fallen Angels team features Jenny, Jamie, Farrah, Ashley and Kelsey. The team that wins gets the most awesome fun date, but the MVP gets to go on an ESPECIALLY most awesome fun date. Ms. MVP will go with Bret on his G-4 Lear jet to a sold out show at Billy Bob's (which is in Texas) with bull-riding and rock n' roll. I feel like he's speaking in another language right now. What is clear, however, is that said MVP will get to spend the night with Bret at this Billy Bob's place, and ride his bull all night. Reow! Bret will sing her a crappy song he's just written, mumble a sincere "Happy Valentime's Day," and live out the lyrics to "Talk Dirty to Me." Bret's going to serve as the quarterback for both teams.
The trash talk starts instantly as the Fallen Angels chant, "Blue bus is lame! You ain't got no game!" Nor do they have an alibi. They're ugly, hey, hey, they're ugly. The Fallen Angels win the coin toss and so get the ball first. Brittanya wastes no time in full-on tackling Jamie. Things are going to get rough here, but this doesn't affect Taya who is determined to win even if her team goes home in body bags. That may happen, given that Mindy tackles Kelsey by the neck. No one seems to care, though, except that Kelsey fumbles the ball. Brittanya recovers the ball, and then gets tackled by about four of the Fallen Angels. Bret is quick to recognize the brutality of this particular Mud Bowl, and says that the girls must either really like him or really hate each other. A little from column A, a lot from column B. Either way, though, it's skanks in mud, and who doesn't love that?