Previously: The girls realized that every rose has three thorns as Bret invited a trio of new, marginally less skanky ladies to join the tour. He enjoyed all of them, but not as much as he enjoyed Ashley as she became the first official bang-ee of the season. Brittanya earned the distinction of being potentially too dumb for Bret Michaels, but it was Natasha who got the ax.
It is morning in St. Louis, and Beverly says that she is over the Blondetourage. She loudly announces that Ashley, in particular, is going down. Put that in the past tense and you've got it right, Beavers. Ashley interviews, "Why don't you come in here and tell me to my face, beeeyouuuutch." Also, Beverly is so fat and lame that Ashley doesn't even care. That's the best kind of conflict avoidance, right there. Meanwhile, Jennifer lays in bed thinking. One might guess that she's pondering why she finds it necessary to sleep in a layer of pancake makeup so thick and orange that it makes her look like a burn victim in natural light. Instead, she's thinking about her dad who recently passed away. She's wondering if she should have stayed home and honored his memory in a way that doesn't involve trying to bone Bret Michaels. In the end, however, she says she's grateful for the opportunity to live on a bus and take her chances with communicable diseases.
The girls pack it up and head out to the bus where they find a postcard addressed to "My Tasty Ten." Tastes like chicken! But I digress. "Goodbye St. Louis, hello Nashville, Tennessee! I may be rock n' roll, but I've got country in my soul. So get ready to kick up some dust and get down and dirty." Mindy is a native of Tennessee, and excited about the prospect of heading to Nashville. There is a postscript to the note, which says that the girls must split themselves evenly so there are five on each bus. Ashley notes that Brittanya headed over to the blue bus, and adds that if she wants to be lame that's her problem. The pink bus will accept Jamie and Jenny but not Kami, who always has a stupid smirk on her face that is accentuated by brown lip gloss. So much for new girl solidarity, I guess. Kami is just fine being separate from the Blondetourage, as they deplete your brain function when you get within a ten foot radius.
And with that we're in Nashville! The girls hang in a hotel and Big John rolls in a cart full of sneakers. Jenny reads the Bret Mail: "Good morning my talented ten. It's that time of year again to get down and dirty. Mud Bowl III will be the muddiest yet." Oh, yes! Mud Bowl is a highlight for Bret, and also for humanity. The Bret Mail says that the MVP of the game will get an extra special prize. The girls pull up their tube socks and prepare to slide all over each other in a pork-like fashion. Bret announces that it's the muddiest Mud Bowl ever, and thanks the local fire department for the use of their truck. Are they on site just in case Ashley sets her hair on fire again? The fire truck contains something called "love hoses," which the drivers will use to splatter the girls with "love mud." And then the pizza delivery guy shows up and things get really crazy.