Rock of Love

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Potes: A | 741 USERS: B-
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Bride of Skankenstein

The party moves inside, where it's time for some serious business. The ladies are going to play "Are You Smarter Than a Rock Star" for three VIP passes, which will allow them to steal some one-on-one time with Bret at any time, even if he's with another woman. Maria, because she has a brain cell left, thinks she might stand a shot. Big John reads the first question -- how many months have 28 days? Some girls scream out "one," while others look puzzled. The answer is "all of them." No one, including Bret, gets it right. That's a trick question, and this is a stupid game. The next question: Bret has 16 girls on a bus. If three of them pass out, how many ménage a trois can he have in one night? And wait...what's the plural of ménage a trois? Menage a troises? Menages a trois? Bret probably knows. He certainly knows the answer to this question, which is six and a half. The questions are dumb, and the scene is pandemonium. Brittanya interviews that she doesn't think anyone was answering the questions right, but she really doesn't know because she's not that smart. I love how "I'm not that smart" is totally Brittanya's disclaimer. She says it in, like, every other interview. Taya racks up a few points, and Brittaney gets yet more unfair treatment as none of the correct answers that she shouts out are recognized. According to her. Brittanya takes a different strategy and just starts making out with Bret. Who's the smart one now?

In the end, Bret decides to give the passes to three hot girls that he wants to talk to -- Brittanya, Taya, and Natasha. Brittaney, who has continuous psycho music playing faintly behind her whenever she talks, is pissed that Natasha got a pass. As Bret makes out with just about everyone in the room, Brittaney gets more and more crackheaded and upset, because that's how she rolls. Natasha, meanwhile, is excited and ready to do some damage with her pass.

Back in the hotel suites, several girls talk about what a crackhead Brittaney is, and Ashley says that she just turned 59. Ashley = secret greatest! It's such a revelation. Just as Natasha is saying that Brittaney needs to understand not to fuck with her, Brittaney comes in to fuck with her. Ironically, she tells Natasha not to fuck with her and also calls her "baby girl." Hmm. Natasha bounces around in her cute nightgown singing a song called, "He loves me, he loves you not." Brittaney then tells Natasha that she got nothing right, and only got the $^%$#@! thing because she's black. That is totally not cool, yet also completely true. Brittanya slowly backs out of the room. Natasha quite mysteriously comes back with, "You tan to get closer to my complexion, bitch." It's not so much what she says as the volume and accompanying finger pointing with which it's being said. Even though it seems as if Natasha might kill Brittaney, Brittaney does not stop, saying that Natasha is only there because of the race card. I don't think I need to point out to you the irony in the fact that this accusation is coming from the star of Bang My Tight White Ass and Black Cravings 7. Natasha holds up her VIP Pass as the last word. But it is not the last word. The last word would belong to Brittaney who says, "My grandfather's black." I wonder what Barack Obama thinks about all this.

Rock of Love

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