Then we have Beverly who walks down the aisle in jeans and a motocross shirt. Bret appreciates her awesome gear, but Ashley's delicate sensibilities are offended by the fact that Beverly doesn't look like a total slut. Yeah, what a jerk. Beverly takes off the motocross shirt and gives it to Bret along with a helmet. He's actually pretty impressed, despite the fact that he's also disappointed that her striptease doesn't have a part two. Bret tells us that Beverly might not be the sexiest-dressed girl there, but she has mad gift-giving skills. Then there's my idol, Natasha, who gives Bret a blow-up doll. Ashley thinks that the blow-up doll looks more like a woman than Natasha does, and that maybe Bret will get rid of Natasha and keep the doll. Ashley is at once horrifying and kind of awesome. Mindy -- who? -- gives Bret a plaster torso that she's made of herself. Natasha thinks that a Buffalo Bill-style skin suit is next, but the hotness outweighs the creepiness for Bret. Put the lotion in the basket, Bret.
Next is Melissa. When she gets to Bret, she pulls out a two-dollar bill. She says that when season two ended she made a wish on the two-dollar bill. Her wish came true, because she's standing there with Bret. First of all, the fuck? And second, you have a magic two dollar bill and THIS is your wish? Melissa interviews that the two-dollar bill has been in her family for many years. She wants to give it to Bret, so he can make a wish on it, too. Bret wishes that Melissa would stop being so pathetic. He doesn't know what's worse -- that the two-dollar bill is her family's heirloom, or that she's giving it to him. There's really no way to choose. And then freaking Megan gives Bret stuffed animals. I mean, I know she's an animal trainer, but, in the words of Bret, "You do know I'm a rock star, right?" Then there's Brittanya, who tells Bret that she wants him to be her man and her lover, too, and anything he asks she'll do. He stops her right there and rips off her white veil. Bret says, quite correctly, that Brittanya is smoking hot, and that's enough for him. For her gift, Brittany gives him a piercing and says when they're better friends he can put it back where it belongs. A heavenly beam hits Bret's face and the other girls realize they've been trumped. Except for Taya, who would hope that her counterparts have more class than to give Bret their vaginal piercings. Taya much more classily gives Bret two framed photos of her Penthouse centerfolds along with the lingerie she wore in her first major spread. Farrah is sick of Taya's Penthouse Pet holier-than-thou shtick, but Bret loves the gift.