Rock of Love

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Bride of Skankenstein

And then it's time for some of the girls to get a little time with Bret on his tour bus. Melissa doesn't think that the girls who won the date deserved it, and she's ready to tell Bret how she feels. She sits her haggard face on his couch and says that he should send her home. He asks why, and she says that there are so many girls who want to do him. If she's going to be with him, it's him and her and that's it. Bret says that Melissa is sending him some strange mixed signals. First she wants to go home, then she wants to stay, then she wants to go home, then she wants to stay. Mostly, I think she wants attention. And she gets it by sucking the lips off of Bret's face. He's digging it.

Marcia then goes on the bus in her bikini and black wedding veil. Bret knows that Marcia is Brazilian and likes to drink, but doesn't know much else about her. He notes that she gets feisty, and perhaps angry, when she drinks. Marcia says she's brutally honest, and will tell somebody if she feels mistreated. Bret suggests that she forego the "brutal" part. Marcia interviews that she's a sweet Brazilian bombshell. She kisses Bret and he's feeling it, but he notes that every day with her is like Carnivale. He hopes that they can get past the party long enough to get to know each other. He adds that if he got pulled over after sucking face with Marcia he'd fail the breathalyzer test. And also the "you totally kissed a girl with vomit-mouth, stud" test. After she leaves he has a curiously strong mint, hopefully with anti-bacterial properties.

And then Bret gets some time with Constandina. He notes that she's a very passionate, sexual person. She agrees, and says that she thinks about sex 24 hours a day. Maybe it's the third eye? Oh, but then. Constandina tells Bret that she took a religious vow that she wouldn't have "all the way" sex for three years. Well no wonder she thinks about sex all the damn time! She interviews that she respects her body, and believes that the human body is a beautiful and sacred thing. Having seen Brittaney's body, I must respectfully disagree. Bret wonders where in the three-year vow period she is. He interviews that he's hot for Constandina, but not having "all the way" sex with her could be a dealbreaker.

Oh, and then there's Brittaney. She's upset and is going to tell Bret how she feels. She talks to him about how she was so unfairly attacked the night before for no reason. The ghost of Brittaney's black grandfather then totally plays a flashback of Brittaney telling Natasha she got the pass because she's black. Bret tells Brittaney that he doesn't want to cut her off, but he has to get ready for elimination. Meanwhile, he totally wants to cut her off.

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Rock of Love

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