Rock of Love

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Potes: A- | 310 USERS: C+
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First Annual Bret's Mudbowl

There are more muddy shenanigans, and Jes, who nicely blocks a pass to Sam, catches Bret's attention. He says she can run, catch, sprint, and what's more, the savage beast is coming out. She scores a touchdown, which brings the Sweetheart's score to...two. Well, I guess it's not a regulation game. Plus, the double digits might confuse some of the girls. Heather is frustrated because her team sucks. She wonders if she's going to have to carry the whole team. And then she just rams her way through the other girls to score. And what does Bret think of Heather's bullish ways? A turn-on, of course. Down 2-1, Heather is on a mission to kill all of the Sweethearts. Jes says she's like a Mack truck. Jes gets knocked in the face a little and spits out some blood, but declines a break. And then, it's the play of the game. Heather takes a short pass from Bret and runs her way through the opposition. Jes manages to get a hold of her pants, which totally rip and fall down. Ever the pro, and certainly not afraid of a little nudity, Heather keeps going. Miraculously, she is wearing underwear. She falls on the ball in the end zone, which brings the score to 2-2. Bret notes that Heather can't keep her clothes on in anything they do, and before long she was crawling around butt-naked in the mud. Soon she'll be swinging around the goal post in celebration.

With a few seconds to go, it's basically Jes versus Heather. Heather, in her underwear, is on fire right now. Jes is equally determined to win the date. Bret passes the ball. Heather is covering Jes, but loses her footing in the mud. If only she had had the extra weight that pants provide, it might not have been so. Jes catches the ball, makes the touchdown, and that's the game. Yay, Jes! The Fallen Angels are DENIED! Heather is pissed and interviews something that is incomprehensible, due to beeps, though you do make out at least one "stupid bitches" and several fucks, so you get the idea. Jes is giddy with victory. Bret gives the Sweethearts the first annual Bret's Mudbowl trophy, and gives Jes, the obvious MVP, a varsity jacket and a kiss. Bret says that Jes is very young and very beautiful, but he has no solid connection to her. He's looking forward to the date. Lacey is disappointed and feels that between this and the motorbikes, she can't win. Well, it's good to see her finally getting an inkling of the fact that she sucks.

Rock of Love

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