The next morning, Bret has to beat on the old punching bag to release some tension. This is not a good sign. Bret has a gut feeling that there's something up with Lacey and her dad. Like -- what kind of something? Are we in for a Chinatown moment, here? Lacey's dad was derogatory toward Bret, and he hopes that Lacey's not secretly the same. He talks to Lacey and tells her he's offended, and wonders why Lacey's dad seems to think he needs cash and/or is a fucking leech. And for reals, I know I make fun of what a has-been Bret is, but, you know, "Every Rose Has Its Thorn." He's sold a lot of records. And been a host on Nashville Star! I'm sure he's doing just fine. And after all, nobody's proposing Otis Conner: Rock Of Love, are they? Though, actually, that might be kind of awesome. And Lacey would probably be a contestant.
Lacey interviews that her dad is a self-made man, and might not have the most etiquette when talking about money. She'll tell him to chill. We cut to Heather in the kitchen, telling her dad how Lacey has basically been manipulating her from the start because she sees Heather's connection with Bret. Back outside, Lacey -- wanting to do some damage control and figuring that throwing Heather under the bus is the easiest way to do so -- wants to give Bret some food for thought. Girl, I will tell you this. Throwing Heather is like throwing a Xerox machine. Good luck. Lacey tells Bret that, though Heather really seems to love her parents, she doesn't show them a lot of respect. To wit, she strips even though she knows it hurts them. Meanwhile, Heather is totally standing on the balcony listening to the whole thing. In her own words: "I cannot believe what I'm hearing. This whore is totally talking shit about me to Bret." Jes pops out on the balcony in time to hear Lacey tell Bret that, though Heather promised to quit stripping if they ended up together, she didn't quit stripping for her parents. She'll quit for two weeks, Lacey says, and then get back on the pole. And at that point, the pole will be up Lacey's ass, so she'll have quite a view.
While Bret's taking all this in, Heather comes down the stairs preparing to fuck a bitch up. And really, Lacey is such an idiot. Heather curses a lot and says that Lacey is a master manipulator. Also a master baiter. Also a stare master. Heather calls her a liar, and says that her family has no idea what kind of a fucking person she is. Otis, meanwhile, has made his way to the porch. He's probably hoping that Heather's bikini top will fall off in her fury. And hey! At least she's wearing one, for once. Though this really would be an awesome topless tirade. Heather says that Lacey has been manipulating her from day one. Lacey keeps calling her "sweetie," which I think is pretty condescending. Lacey -- apparently forgetting that she was just talking all kinds of shit about the girl -- interviews that Heather came out of nowhere and flipped the fuck out. Jes, meanwhile, is sitting on the sidelines eating a bowl of potato salad and loving it all. Jes is one of us, for sure. I wish I had some potato salad, too.