Rock of Love

Episode Report Card
Potes: A+ | 6 USERS: A+
Meet The Parents

Lacey interviews that Bret doesn't need to be with a stripper, who will be grinding on a man in a club somewhere while he's at home wondering how his pot pie will get cooked. Lacey shows Karen the stripping pole, and then interviews that she's going to mess with Heather. She calls up to Heather and asks her to do something on the pole. Okay, that's fucking low. Heather knows that Lacey is playing her like she played everyone in the house, but says it's not gonna work. She sits down with her parents and lets them know about the challenges, including making out with women, fake orgasms, talking dirty, etc. She wants to warn them, in case Lacey tries to bust her. Heather tells her folks that the other parents don't know shit, so she's going to call them out. She thinks both girls are nice, but she wants Bret. And really, it's all about exposing Lacey. And it is going to be spectacular.

Dinner time! Jes, for obvious reasons, is not looking forward to it. Lacey makes a comment about plates from Target, and then interviews that everyone comes from different backgrounds, so she and her parents don't really have anything in common with the other families. Lacey, with a bottle of water, gives a toast. I am so sure. There is awkward, tense silence, and then Bret comes out. I might add that Heather seems to be actually morphing into Bret, as she's wearing a bandana and snakeskin cowboy hat right now. Lacey interviews that she and her dad and Karen are always there to have a good time, whatever the situation, so take the initiative to get the conversation started. And then, let's let Jes tell us what happens next. "Lacey and her dad, being the two fuckers that they are, decided that they should get everybody's bios -- you know, their background -- to see who's best for Bret." Jes talks about working at a company for six years, starting as a receptionist. It wasn't challenging enough, and now she's bartending. Then it's Heather's turn. She wonders why they're being judged. Hey! She wondered that exact same thing, in exactly the same phrasing, when the supersluts were there. Coincidence, that. She tells the others that she went to college and got an associate Art degree and a BA in Communications. She then, as she says, fell into the dancing field. Lacey's dad jumps in and says, "Well, I can connect you up with Time Warner. They're a client of mine." The nature of Otis's business is not known at this point, but I bet it's something grody. ["Elevators?" -- Wing Chun] Heather interviews that Otis is a condescending prick. She thinks he should shut the fuck up and worry about himself and his lying daughter.

And then, it's Lacey's turn! Huzzah. She doesn't even get to speak for herself. Otis says that they live in Dallas and she lives in L.A., where she doesn't work and lives on her investments. HA! He even hoses his own daughter. That is rich. Lacey says that she's a musician. Otis says that she plays the stock market. Lacey interviews that, of the three girls, she's the most accomplished. Jes is content washing people's hair -- which, I might add, is something Lacey might want to try once in a while -- and Heather takes her clothes off for a living. Lacey, however, is the one who has dreams and aspirations and goes after them. Otis brags that Lacey has a new website and a music video. Which, HA. I mean, such as it is. Jes interviews that Otis talks about Lacey like she's God's gift, and clearly has no idea who his daughter is. Oh, but he's about to get one.

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Rock of Love




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